Of Risks and Recommendations

One of the first essays I ever wrote on the sexual market place was concerning risk management. I elected to write that early on because there are many pitfalls a man can find himself in when he’s just getting started. Despite what one would expect, the probability of a high visibility, successful cad finding himself the victim of a BPD girl, an ooops pregnancy or getting oneitis is fairly low, while the odds of a recently recovered blue pill man doing so are much higher. This is very similar to how a person who has been rich for a long time, perhaps all their life is used to gold diggers, scammers and charlatans trying to get money out of them, and in most cases their family will have trained them to see through such scams. The person who just won the lottery does not have this training, and thus becomes an easy victim.

The man who is still in blue pill recovery can be a very easy victim for a woman with questionable intent, which usually means that she is in her epiphany phase or even post-wall and is on the prowl for Beta Bucks to lock down. A man who has started to slowly improve through the red pill, will find himself facing down many types of risk, but the greatest one in my estimation is that presented by oneitis. Many men come to game and the red pill looking for a cheat-code to “get her back” or “just get that one girl“, and if or when they accomplish this goal they promptly stop being the man who got her and go back to being the man who could have never gotten her. I’ll be frank and say that this is the male version of a woman who loses 100 lbs, gets plastic surgery, locks down a husband and then proceeds to put on all the weight again.

In this sense, a lot of men see the red pill and game as a diet, it is something that they are on temporarily to accomplish an objective and once they reach this goal they go back to their old lifestyle. The problem with this is that “old you’s” life is the sum of “old you’s” habits, “new you’s” life is the sum of “new you’s” habits. You cannot have “new you’s” life with “old you’s” habits, it just doesn’t work that way. This is perhaps the biggest risk men face in the sexual market place, that of their own comfort and complacency. The fact of the matter is that being a high value man is like being the top guy in any field, if you screw up or get lazy there are thousands of men with a hunger burning them alive ready to take your spot.

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Of Apex and Alphas

We did a Red Man Group podcast on “Looks, Money, Game” a few weeks back, it was an interesting podcast to do, given that there wasn’t a real consensus on the panel about which one is the most important, but everyone agrees with the fact that ideally you want at least two of them. The idea for this essay came to me when I was preparing for the podcast by having an internal debate with myself about factors that influence performance in the sexual market place. My internal chain of reasoning was along the lines of various trade-offs we are willing to make when shopping for a sexual partner. My preferences for a woman’s looks are largely centered on breasts, butt, hair and face, but I was asking myself how these four factors interact. In an ideal world, I would prefer a woman with bigger breasts, a bubble butt, long red hair (in a particular shade), and an innocent looking yet pretty face. I also tend to prefer either green or blue eyes, over other colors.

So, in my head I constructed somewhat of a March Madness bracket for these various characteristics and had them play against each other, mostly out of curiosity. This lead me to figure out which characteristics are soft-preferences, which are hard preferences and which are somewhere in the middle. As I worked myself through this, I found myself thinking about preferences, choice and options because these are closely linked. This lead down a rabbit hole of considerations on sexual market pricing, preferences and trades, that then lead down a fairly long string of thinking on building the optimal sexual market performer. While doing this, I ran across the Apex Fallacy and the nadir fallacy.

An apex fallacy is a conditional fallacy which happens when one evaluates how good a group is doing by the highest performing members. The converse fallacy is called the nadir fallacy, which is when one evaluates a group based on the worst members. I’m going to be using these with a slightly different definition in this essay, where the definition will be “when one evaluates how good one is doing based on how good other members of multiple groups are doing.”

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Of Metaphysics and Morals

Philosophy has 5 classical branches, logic, epistemology, aesthetics, ethics and metaphysics, ranked in order of empirical foundation. Logic is the study of reasoning, often divided in deductive reasoning and inductive reasoning. The former is drawing general conclusions from specific examples, the latter is drawing logical conclusions from definitions and axioms. Epistemology is concerned with the nature and limitations of knowledge, and deals with four points, what is knowledge, how is knowledge acquired, what do people know, and how do we know what we know. Aesthetics is the branch of philosophy concerned with the nature of beauty and ugliness, and is sometimes referred to as the study of sentiment and taste.

Ethics is also known as moral philosophy, it’s the branch of philosophy concerned with good and bad, right and wrong, justice, virtue and all related concepts. Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy concerned with the nature of existence, and seeks to explain the fundamental nature of being and the world. Traditionally, metaphysics is divided into two branches, cosmology and ontology. The former seeks to understand the origin, evolution, structure and ultimate fate of the universe at large and the natural laws that govern it. These days this branch of philosophy is soundly placed within the STEM field. The latter, ontology deals with questions concerning which entities exist or can be said to exist, how such entitled can be grouped, organized in hierarchies, this has also been placed distinctly within the realm of science and is now empirical. After the schism that created the gap between “philosophy” and “natural philosophy (later science), metaphysics is largely concerned with the philosophical inquiry of a non-empirical character into the nature of existence.

Some people are also inclined to include political philosophy into the classical branches, this is a branch concerned with the study of concepts such as liberty, justice, property rights, law and the enforcement of a legal code by authorities, what they are, if they are needed, and many such questions. The major focus of this essay is not concerned with political philosophy, thought it is tangentially relevant to the topic, the major focus of this essay will be on logic, epistemology, ethics and the present definition of metaphysics.

The early days of the Red Pill was known as “The Seduction Community” and was concerned with investigating how men could become more successful at sexual relationships with women. For this purpose, the early pick-up artists would study men who were naturally good at getting laid, formulate theories for what these men did, test those theories through field-experiments and report the results back in field-reports in various online communities, so that other men could test if it also worked for them. The development of this body of knowledge is not much different from the development of bodybuilding or strength training where the practitioners have often been well ahead of the scientific community with their prescriptions. This became known as “bro-science” which was a derogatory term for knowledge a person obtained through practice, that would vary in its efficacy, mostly due to a lack of ability to control for important variables such as nutrition and drug use, but also due to sample problems such as using small samples (n=1) or selections of extreme outliers.

From day one the most important factor in game and red pill theory is the structure of “What do we observe”, “Why does it work” and “How can this be practically applied”. The explanation and theory only serves a purpose in how it influences practice. “Cocky & Funny”, “DHV”, “Negs” and “False disqualifiers” are all under the umbrella of “Amused Mastery”, when practitioners identified the former, deductive reasoning allowed Rollo to go from specific behavioral examples to a general conclusion and thus theory [1].

There has been a push recently to include metaphysics (by definition 3) and ethics in red pill theory as of late, and I’ve written a bit here to illustrate on why I think that this is a questionable idea.

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Of Reason and Red Pill Women

An interesting digression on Red Man Group in the past few weeks was the discussion the role of women in the red pill sphere. I’ve somewhat taken a “I don’t care that much” position on the topic, however we do have some data-points on what happens when women enter male spaces. At first their desire is just to be included in the dialogue and to contribute, then they start slowly changing the space to become more “female friendly“, which generally means less directness, more speech and behavior policing. The next step is to slowly convert the space from being goal-directed and focused on the task, into a niche sexual market place where they can take a leading position and make it about what women need. We saw a very clear example of this in gaming, where it went from “We just want to play too“, that became “Stop being mean to people who aren’t good at the game“, to “Be less competitive” to “Stop designing all games for men“.

The trouble with women entering male spaces is that it’s impossible for women to not make the space about their perceptions, needs and desires. Any man who has ever had a woman move into his place is aware of this process. It starts with a toothbrush, then a drawer in the dresser, then suddenly there are pillows everywhere, the color scheme is filled with soft pastels, the beer signs are in the garage along with your favorite chair, and you’re not sure where 50 – 80% of your stuff went, and where the stuff that is in your house now came from. What used to be your castle, a place built around your needs, wants and desires, a place to retire when you just wanted to be you for a while, is now…. something else, it has become a feminine space.

The Red Pill is about helping men be better men so that they can be empowered to live the life they desire for themselves. not for other people. This is where the red pill is distinct from other groups that operate in adjacent spaces, to The Red Pill making better men and men who are able to live fulfilling lives on their own terms and according to their own aspirations is an end in itself. The “Trad-con“-sphere utilize many red pill methods to build better men, but their primary goal isn’t to enable men to live the lives they desire, it is to build a tribe for themselves of like-minded men to maintain western civilization and the sanctity of monogamous marriage. Jordan B. Peterson for all his great ideas, isn’t about the men he tells to clean up their rooms and stand up straight, he is about ensuring that they become good husbands and fathers that will maintain order by raising the next generation and thus serve as barriers to chaos.

A Voice For Men and The Good Man project are not about creating better men, in the case of the latter they are about creating better plow-horses, in the case of the former, they are about ensuring that the plow horses are fed, get to see a vet once in a while and can stay in the stable when it rains. The Red Pill doesn’t care if you just want to give your dead bedroom marriage CPR or whether you want to lay more pipe across pristine Eastern European territories than Gazprom, that part is up to you.

Now, I think women can serve a purpose in the red pill, some are great case studies for the concepts of hypergamy, solipsism, the timeline of female sexual market value and many other things. Women who are able to maintain long-term relationships with high value males can serve as examples to other women of what is required to do so. Some women make great cautionary tales for younger women, about what happens when you fall victim to the grass-is-greener fallacy. However, we must always be mindful of the simple fact that for women a man will always be a means to her end, not an end in himself. Continue reading

Of Lifestyles and Limitations

The red pill sphere has a major focus on self-improvement, which is one of the reasons why I enjoy being part of it. Men all sharing knowledge, encouraging improvement and driving each other forward is probably one of the things that we’re missing when raising boys today. However, it can be a bit of a double-edged sword at times. I had lunch with a childhood friend of mine earlier this week, and as conversations among men often do, it included his lamentations about not being able to get laid enough. This is hardly a rare topic topic in conversation for me, and I’ve developed a bit of a diagnostic model for rapidly diagnosing the problem the man I’m talking to is having in his relationship with women, that I call the PIECE model, short for Populate – Initiate – Escalate – Close – Enduring.

I came up with this model because I concluded that just about every issue men have with getting laid falls into one of the following areas:

Populate – How many women populate the man’s immediate area of activity. If you work in a male-dominated field, all your hobbies are either things you do alone, or activities that largely involve couples or just other men. You will have few interactions with women as a natural part of living your life, this means that unless you specifically set off time to go out to places where you meet women, engage in online dating or go out and do day game, you’ll probably not interact with many women.

Initiate – How often does the man initiate interactions with women. If you never really initiate interactions with women, you will never be in a position to reach the escalation stage. Some MGTOWs may work in female dominated environments, but advocate a position where you never initiate or interact with women unless the women initiate.

Escalate – How often is the man able to escalate the interactions. You can be surrounded by women at work, in your hobbies, and initiate interactions all the time, if you never escalate the interaction in some manner, you will not get laid a lot. One could go into details of kino escalation, topic escalation and so on, however from the big picture perspective the role of escalation is to signal interest. The most classical form of escalation is simply asking a women for coffee or drinks.

Close – How often and capable is the man of closing. Once the escalation has run the course, how capable is the man of isolating the women in an environment where the final escalation to sex can take place. The work done in the preceding stages lead up to this point in the interaction a man who is incapable of doing this will never get laid. Continue reading

Of Cogs and Continuity

Those of you who follow my twitter feed, will no doubt have picked up on my general sense of dislike for many social organizations, ranging from corporations, to government and the educational system. This could be viewed as a general anti-authoritarian or anti-social bent, and while this was a strong motivation in my younger days, my dislike these days is founded in something quite different. When evaluating any form of group, I find it very useful to begin with the reason for its existence. In a corporation this usually pertains to their core products, the frame through which they view their core business, and the extent to which, their main source of revenue is actually their main focus. When it comes to government it often takes the form of reverse-engineering from the effects to the causes.

In my essay on “The Good Boys” I argued that a social group should align incentives with the behaviors it requires from its population, and that a major problem in our modern western society is that the incentives are no longer there, which is the source of turmoil and conflict. I further expanded on this in later essays, covering how the various institutions that are tasked with raising a new generation of men are doing so based on outdated information. For instance, the blue pill guide to life is still based off the fact that society needs dutiful, conscientious and agreeable men, who work day after day at a job for which they have little passion, but which is secure and predictable. However, that the rewards for men who follow this check-list have to a large extent been removed.

Within political science there are those who think government can be run as a business basing this on the fact that government is in fact a producer of goods and services. Then there are those who think that applying business thinking to government means ignoring that government is generally not run with a profit motive. Both sides have some valid arguments, and it’s too grand of a discussion for me to handle within the scope of a blog-post. However, the former perspective is an interesting one in that if one views various governmental units as producers of goods and services, what information can one obtain? Continue reading

Of Sepulchres and Suicides

Until yesterday, this was one of those essays that looked to be permanently placed in draft-limbo. This is a fate shared by quite a few essays that I have ideas for, but cannot quite figure out how to finish or what angle to take. Despite the fact that I found the subject-matter in this essay very interesting, there simply was no angle that encapsulated what I wanted to communicate. That is, until I heard of the death by suicide of Anthony Bourdain.

I’ve shared a little bit about my youthful culinary interests on twitter, what I didn’t share is that they were largely inspired by Mr. Bourdain’s book “Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly“, to this day one of my favorite books within the genre. The book describes the journey of a young man from chucking clams in Rhode Island to the Rainbow room in Manhattan, drug use, alcohol abuse, and high gastronomy, but more than anything it was about passion. As the years passed by, my interests shifted a little, but I tried to keep up with Anthony’s work whether on the travel channel, the food network or other places. For someone who still has a passion for food, and all that surrounds it, he was the culinary Christopher Hitchens, an irreverent, ghost-pepper in an increasingly bland world of cuisine. However, as his career progressed, it was difficult not to notice the gradual softening of his, the cursing became more rare, as did the drinking, he quit smoking and he had children.

I stopped watching TV some time ago, so it was a few years until he popped up on my radar again, this time coming across my twitter feed in a retweet after my return to the manosphere. Out of curiosity I looked him up, found that he’d gotten divorced sometime earlier and was dating an MMA star. I clicked the tweet and I noticed the unmistakable Beta tells in the pictures, the fact that his girlfriend’s instagram was filled with pictures of her with other men that were 30 years his junior, and I thought to myself “That’s going to blow up in his face, maybe we’ll get the old hard drinking, angry, Anthony Bourdain back. The man who banned Billy Joel from every restaurant kitchen he ever ran“.

Alas, yesterday I saw the news coming across my twitter feed, he was found dead in his hotel, having ended his life in a case that appears related to “girl problems”. I was going to let this go, but then the inevitably “toxic masculinity” arguments came flowing out into the media “oh if only men were more like women, they wouldn’t kill themselves” and I figured, ah that is a perfect frame for that essay in my draft folder.

The big, often glossed over thing about suicide is that women attempt to kill themselves just as much or even more than men, they are just less successful at it [1]. They attempt to kill themselves so that someone will come to them and be like “Oh honey, are you OK, want to talk about it?“. Men are much better and more successful at killing themselves, because they do it because they are done talking. For women a suicide attempt is a comma in the sentence of their life, for men it’s the exclamation point at the end of it. If men were less “masculine” and more like women, we would simply see a drop in successful suicides, with an increase in suicide attempts. Continue reading