Recently I had a twitter conversation where I made the statement that the women in your family are your biggest enemy when it comes to sexual market place success. The reasoning behind this is that females, while inherently seeing the value of an alpha, fail to raise their sons in this manner, instead opting to build a good Beta for their daughter in law. This comes from what can be argued as a principal agent issue, wherein your best interests are not those of your female family members and friends. However, in many cases, men view advice and counsel from family as if it can only be in the best interest of the man. This is rarely the case due to multiple mechanisms in the female psyche.
Family are your genetic heritage, the best way to ensure the survival of your family lineage of genetics is to reproduce and ensure that the other members of your family are best suited to reproduce. This is why male role-models become so important, as men teach other men how to perform and win in the sexual marketplace. If Jack Nicholson was your dad, you would be taught how to slay pussy, if your dad was a male feminist chump, your best bet is to supplicate, become a male feminist like your dad and go down that route, because your male feminist dad will teach you how to do just that. Men who are raised with strong masculine male role models learn the traditional masculine behaviors and attitudes. Concepts such as “boys don’t cry” do not exist because men are not permitted to show emotions or to be in pain, but because men do not let pain prevent them from accomplishing what they set out to do. Secondly, they exist because the nature of a man is to be stoic out of necessity. To balance the genders women are overly emotional and men are somewhat under-emotional. If both parties become emotional during a crisis, that is as close to guaranteed death as possible.
The Agent and the Principal
Agent-principal issues are common in the business world and occur where a person is employed to manage the resources of another. For instance, in a company where the CEO is not the owner and the owner is a board member. This results an issue of poorly aligned incentives, wherein the CEO may be encouraged to utilize company funds in a manner in which it benefits him or her but not the owner. This has taken many forms, such as creating elaborate and expensive offices, expensive company cars, extreme executive benefits and many others. Many companies have attempted to correct such poorly aligned incentives through mechanics such as stock option programs for executives, thinking that if the executive is also an owner they will act as an owner would. In some cases this has been successful, in others not so much. The reasoning for why it is not an ensured success is simple, if the CEO owns 1% of the company, and thus has ownership to 1% of the owners equity and net profits. Yet can utilize more than 1% of those resources due to his or her position for his or her benefit through the company structure, they can pad their own wallet at the expense of the 99% that owns the remaining equity and profits.
The manner in which such principles manifest in other situations is that people feel a sense of ownership of you if you are their friend or family member. For instance they will expect you to do things for them, thus sacrificing time that you could have otherwise spent on yourself or other endeavors. Thus, when you elect to start enforcing boundaries to how much of your time they can consume, this has a negative effect on them. If you elect to act in a manner, which reflects poorly on them, this has a negative effect as well. Therefore, they seek to control or influence you towards their own best ends, rather than your own best ends.
This may not purely be with malicious and self-serving intent, it may also be because you are not acting in congruence with the internalized image they have of you, thus they regard your changing self as fake. All humans construct mental images of other humans, as the human changes, they notice that the human is not acting in accordance with the mental image. This leaves them two options, adapting their mental image or utilizing the consistency principle to influence the human into acting in accordance with the metal image. Most prefer the latter. In an interpersonal relationship, one person engaging in change alters the dynamic of the relationship, and if those relationships have an unhealthy dynamic to begin with the effect is even more pronounced. Furthermore, if the change engaged in affects the central foundations of the relationship, the dynamic often becomes strained to a higher degree.
Thus, it follows that one party engaging in change can affect other parties surrounding them, who all have investments in that person to some extent. The reaction is often in proportion to the investment into the person. No where is this investment larger than in the women within your own family.
The Women in Your Family
Women within your family, mother(s), grandmothers, aunts, sisters and such all influence you while growing up. The most important person in a man’s life from birth is his mother. The incentives for the mother will shape much of the boy’s developing psyche for the formative years of his life. A situation where a mother has no partner for instance, will often result in the son acting as an emotional substitute for an adult partner, thus making him excessively sensitive to his mothers emotional state. In this case, the mother will often attempt to shape her “little man” into the partner she inherently needs. Alternatively, she may spoil him to an excessive extent, which results in him idealizing her.
The reason why I think that the women in your family are your enemy when attempting to improve your lot in the sexual market place is female solipsism, women are inherently in-group biased, self-centered and focused on female needs. Thus, they will seek to build you according to the needs of the feminine imperative. This is much of the same issue I have with many “red pill women” in that their goal is not for men to be all they can be and build the strongest version of themselves. It is to build a better beta to further optimize their hypergamy (or ideally tame an Alpha), they want to create a Frankenstein monster consisting of incompatible parts in order to improve their feelings of getting a good deal. In essence, this is Beta 2.0. They do not realize that the majority of alpha and beta traits are incompatible, and creating a hybrid is an impossibility. I’ve outlined some traits below:
Most of the time the women in your family love you and want the best for you. It may be a remnant of blue pill programming on my part, but I find it hard to believe that all the women in your family want you to fail miserably in the sexual market place by design. However, they are also influenced by the feminine imperative, and as they are likely to view monogamous long-term relationships as the ultimate outcome of the sexual market place, they will influence you in this direction. Their goal is not to create a man who becomes dominant and alpha within the sexual market place, their goal is to create the best possible long-term monogamous deal for their future daughter-in-law.
How does one create a great deal for a future daughter-in-law? Often they will encourage you to pursue traits and behaviors that they perceive as wrong about their own husbands. For instance, if their husbands does not do his “fair share” of housework they will encourage you to learn domestic work, such as cleaning, laundry and cooking. A woman who finds her husband to be non-supportive and self-centered will encourage her sons to be supportive and her-centered. If their husband is an alpha or former alpha, they will neglect the traits that attracted her to him in the first place, or the traits that are inherent to his psyche and focus on building their son around those traits. If their husband is a loyal beta, they will ignore the absence of alpha traits and focus on iteratively improving their beta husband. Their actions have the effect of building a barrier that their sons, grandsons, nephews and so on must climb to gain true SMP success. In the table below I’ve outlined the various traits that I found that women find attractive in men according to the various sources:Compare these traits with the rough dichotomy set up in the previous table. While there may be some overlap between dominance in the ask men list and Dark Triad Traits, the categorization of many of these traits (barring the physical ones) would be Beta adjacent.
Some are more dominant, some are more submissive, some depend very much on execution.
When it comes to the female psyche, it is very clear from observation that females attempt to reduce their own burden of performance at every step. Unlike the male performance burden, the female burden is not inherently required in the sexual market place, but it does add some value to her, and improves the deal for a male that eventually ends up in a long-term relationship with her. These reductions are often apparent, for instance the sexy lingerie disappears and out come the sweats. Four days a week at the gym to keep her body tight and toned becomes four days a week of “Netflix and chill“. Home cooked meals, house cleaning and laundry become tasks where she expects you to do your “fair share“.
Thus, the females in your family are not overly concerned with whether or not you can find a woman, they are concerned with how she will view them resulting from your behavior in the relationship. Naturally, they want you to end up in a long-term monogamous relationship to give them a genetic legacy, however they are more concerned with how well they can train you to be a good husband, rather than a good man. How good did they ensure that her deal was when she selected you as her long-term mate. The feminine imperative when securing a long-term relationship is to lock down long-term security for herself and her offspring at the cost of a minimal burden for herself. This is the perspective from which the females in your family also seek to construct your psyche to accept.
The cardinal issue is one that takes place when solipsism [9, 10, 11] makes it nearly impossible for your female family members or friends to put themselves in the shoes of someone else, due to their tendency to have themselves as their mental point of origin. When compounded with an inability to review their past in relative objective terms, in addition to often viewing their own relationships (or lack thereof) through rationalization, they build the man that they think they want, rather than one who would be successful.
I covered the various SMV deals in a couple of posts already [1, 2] and one could argue that the females in your family seek to provide a perfect provider for their daughter in law. Someone who has all the traits they wish were present in their own husbands, fathers and other males in their life. In the same way they construct their daughters as weapons of their own ambition, they raise their boys to be vehicles for their own relationship ambitions.
Summary and Conclusions
The principal agent issue is one of incentives, the incentives of the agent is not aligned with those of the principal, therefore the agent following human nature will follow his own interests whenever possible. Mothers do not feel their bosoms swell with pride when they are told “I heard your son had a foursome with cheerleaders this weekend“, they are not overcome with joy when they hear “Damn, that son of yours is really slaying that pussy“, fathers are.
Women feel proud, accomplished, successful as mothers when their sons become accepted by the community as great fathers and husbands. If a son is bullied the first response of most mothers is to talk to the teacher, or the principal, or call the mother of the bully. This causes the son to be seen as a momma’s boy, someone who has a woman stand up for him, and is unable to handle his shit. The first response of a real father is to teach his son how to stand up for and defend himself. Thus, we arrive at the result that men raised by women take one of two paths, they either adopt female behavioral and psychological patterns, alternatively, they adopt the frame of extreme masculinity.
The person(s) who raise a new human being hold enormous power over that developing psyche. Everything from the dynamic between your parents, their relationship to money and wealth, their work ethic, their ways of dealing with conflict and many others influence you on a deep level. There is even a term for problems that stem from childhood, family of origin issues. A poorly programmed moist robot is one that must spend much time revisiting and revising his programming throughout his life. This is in many ways what is referred to as “unplugging” in the red pill community.
As outlined, the women in your family view you, as a means to make a better life for their daughter in law than the lives they enjoy themselves. This can be rationalized regardless of if they have a great or poor relationship to men. If their relationship with your father and other men are great, they seek to make it even better by making you the perfect man (in their mind). If their relationship with your father and other men, is not that great they seek to shape you to be completely different from your father and men in general. It is in the female nature to blame-shift, and they will blame men, not themselves for any failure.
Therefore, you need to reject the messages from childhood regarding women, and regarding “what being a man is about” unless they come from a role-model worthy of shaping your beliefs.Most men have these internal messages that are reinforced every time you go back to the spring for a second sip. A goal given to a man by a woman, will be a goal that is the best for women. A methodology given to a man by a woman, is a methodology that would be suited for a woman. A female is nearly incapable of giving a man good advice in any area where her solipsism or hypergamy influences her.
Thus, from the existence of principal-agent there is only one option to eliminate such poorly aligned incentives, namely becoming both your own agent and your own principal. You are the owner of yourself and the operator of yourself.
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 9 Things women will always find attractive in men