In between last week’s post on the foundation of social justice philosophy, and the upcoming post on Thursday post on SJWs and Post-modernism, I figured something lighthearted and fun would be suitable for Monday’s post. For that purpose, someone linked me a post on Huffington Post entitled “33 Ways Your Boyfriend is Micro-Cheating“, which I renamed “34 Ways You Have Borderline Personality Disorder” initially, which I then changed to “34 Reasons Not to Date Fun Single Girl”. The woman who wrote this article exemplify quite a few manosphere principles, especially the tendency of women to “isolate” their man to some degree.
However, she also demonstrates some rather ill-fated personality characteristics that men should look out for when dating, among others possessiveness, a penchant for drama, and paranoid personality traits that I covered in my series on female madness.
1. Reaching out to a girl who’s “just a friend” for a recommendation or advice on an issue he could easily Google the answer to because he feels like bantering.
There are two parts to this statement, first is the assertion that he could easily Google it, and yes he could, these days, anything can be easily Googled. The second part is the assumption that his motivation for doing so is that he wants fun banter.
For the first part, the advice or recommendation from a good friend who knows you and your preferences is better than the equivalent from 50 strangers who posted a Yelp! review or a Quora answer.
For the second part, it reveals a lot of insecurity in your that you would respond in this manner because your boyfriend happens to enjoy bantering with his friends.
In essence, this is an attempt to isolate her boyfriend from his female friends who she perceives as sexual threats. This is a strategy to reduce his alternatives, because she knows why she keeps her orbiters.. erm “male friends” around.
2. Giving a waitress or a bartender an obscenely large tip just because she’s hot AF.
This statement is an example of why women are threatened by other hot women being around their man, they represent a potential drain on his resources that is not her. The man giving an “obscenely large tip” is a case of resources that he could have spent on her that went to “hot bartender”.
3. Following a ton of hot girls on social media and beginning to feel like he actually knows them because he monitors their every post that closely.
The reason why this is a threat, is that her man following multiple women who have their looks as their job, means they put effort into their looks. This conflicts with her plan to lock him down with a marriage or a kid, slowly let her looks go, cut back on the sex and anything that requires effort from her.
It may also serve to educate him about his rising sexual market value, assuming that he is seeing said model girls date men similar to him.
4. Sending someone who’s not his girlfriend something blatantly provocative, like an article about sex or the porn industry, because he thinks she’ll find it interesting or whatever.
Probably an attempt at setting up a plate, but it could also be that his friend has an interest in that specific issue. Sharing articles, book recommendations and various other forms of information is quite common among with intellectual interests, regardless of topics.
5. Logging a girl in his contacts folder under a code name to avoid detection when she call, texts, and emails.
This could be two options:
A) Either your girl is a crazy bitch, and you are trying to avoid shit being set on fire.
B) Lining up a new option before ejecting from the present plane-crash.
6. Tagging another girl in an Instagram that reminds him of her or references a seemingly innocuous inside joke between them.
This presents a security problem for her, as she does not know the joke, or the connection with the other girl, therefore it presents a pressure on her to behave in line to keep him. This lack of information and existence of a connection with another female, represents a threat to her efforts to isolate him from all other women.
7. Obsessively checking another girl’s social media feeds and getting way more excited about the non-girlfriend’s posts than he does about his significant other’s.
A form of weak dread game, can also be a sign that he is very bored. On the other hand, it could be a case of the significant other posting a lot of boring things on social media.
8. Confiding in or venting to someone other than his girlfriend when he’s feeling especially emotional because he craves the response he thinks he can only get from that other girl.
The times I’ve seen or heard of this becoming a frequent occurrence, the thing that is being vented about is the girlfriend in question. For instance, that she posted an article on Huffington Post about how you’re micro-cheating. The other time is when the girlfriend is pathologically unable to deal with anything except her emotional perspective, through writing an article on Huffington post about how you’re micro-cheating.
The threat she fears here is that her man will realize how inadequate her performance in the girlfriend role is, in addition it is a sign of lack of trust, and understanding that a man showing weakness to a woman reduces his standing in her eyes.
9. Going out of his way to tell a woman he met or ran into the night before that she looked amazing or seems to be “doing really well.”
This is both a form of dread game, which puts pressure on the writer of the original article to step up her game. It can also be a hint to his present girlfriend that he wants her to put as much effort into her appearance as the other woman.
10. Purposefully neglecting to mention his significant other in conversation with the friends and colleagues he interacts with regularly so that many of them actually think he’s single.
This is somewhat of a guy thing, women bond through sharing their emotional lives, so relationships come up very often. However, what she is responding to is the fact that he is not walking around with a giant “Property of” Sign.
In my experience, men rarely mention their personal relationships in work situations, unless there is a reason for doing so, with friends it depends but in many of the social endeavors I’ve partaken in over the years, relationship status rarely comes up.
11. Diminishing his relationship as “not that serious” when in fact he’s cohabiting and maybe even engaged.
Dread game, it makes her aware that an engagement or cohabiting is not legally binding and fairly easy to get out of, makes her feel urgency to lock the guy down. It makes it clear to her that as long as she is not pregnant or married, he could walk out that door any moment and be done with her.
12. Outright denying that he’s in a relationship to extend the flirtatious exchange he’s enjoying with some random girl on the train or at a bar, even if he has no intention of trying to hook up with her.
Fear of her man finding a better option, it is a case where her man may becoming aware of his rising sexual market value and his girlfriend’s diminishing sexual market value. Women work very hard to keep their man in the dark about the fact that their own SMV is rapidly dropping, while the man’s is increasing, if both are between 30 and 40.
13. Closing his eyes when he needs a minute to escape and daydreaming about the girl he’s crushing on because she’s his opium of the moment.
Or because you are dating someone so crazy that they decided to vomit their crazy onto the Huffington Post, and you just need a moments peace before walking back into the asylum. This is arguably a case where she assumes what is going on in his head. Could he be day-dreaming of his present crush? Sure, could he also be attempting to get a moment of peace or thinking about other endeavors in his life?
14. When something awesome happens to him and he chooses to share the good news with another woman first.
This is usually a sign that the woman in his life tends to diminish his elation at accomplishment.
Einstein: Hey honey I won the Nobel Prize in physics!
Einstein’s wife: Great, did you remember to mow the lawn before you went off gallivanting in Stockholm?
This is actually a trend I’ve observed both in some of my own past relationships, but also among friends and family members, where the woman seeks to bring her man down when he is elated about an accomplishment or experience.
15. Reaching out to an ex on a day that was once significant to them as a couple, like their anniversary or the day they first had sex.
Dread game against the current girlfriend.
16. Going out of his way to do something nice for someone who’s not his girlfriend, like hook her up with tickets to a concert or a reservation just because.
This goes back to resources, in this case the man is spending his time and effort doing something nice for someone who is not her.
17. Telling another girl that he’s thinking about her on a day that’s not her birthday or a holiday.
Dread game, but perhaps also a sign that the man in question is having strong doubts about his present relationship and testing the waters for other options.
18. Worse yet, texting her “good morning” just to say good morning.
19. Picking up the tab like it’s nbd when he’s out with someone who’s not his girlfriend because he wants to impress her or seem cool.
Spending resources on someone who is not her.
20. Giving another girl a “hope certificate” (i.e. some degree of reassurance that he’ll be on the market soon) by insinuating that things are rocky between him and his girlfriend when they’re definitely not.
I can see why, I would be looking at other options too if I was dating a woman who wrote a post about micro-cheating in the national news media.
21. Meeting up with another woman for dinner or a drink and insisting that it’s work related when asked by his significant other for context (and it’s not).
Men lie to jealous, isolationist and possessive women, because it’s easier than telling them the truth.
22. Choosing to do something he knows his significant other would enjoy—like go for a bike ride, eat at a specific restaurant, or see a certain movie—with another woman, even when his girlfriend’s most likely available.
Most likely because doing this things with his girlfriend would not be enjoyable for him, who knows “22. When he takes you out to do something he knows you enjoy and gets accused of checking out other women”
23. Sending a photo to an ex that reminds him of a good time past because he feels like reliving that old memory temporarily.
Fear that he will realize how miserable he is in the present situation, and will escape before she is able to lock the cell door.
24. Establishing secret code words and/or inside jokes with women outside his romantic relationship.
Threat of him finding that he has better deals on the table with other women.
25. Recommending that his girlfriend starts wearing a certain type of clothing because he secretly wants her to look like the girl he’s kind of crushing on.
In my mind, that has to be a better option than actually banging the other woman for the girlfriend in question. This is also a sign of the need men have for variety, and that the woman in this case has let herself go somewhat.
26. Gifting his girlfriend with a bottle of the perfume his crush wears so she’ll smell like his latest fantasy chick.
Same as above.
27. Keeping a piece of clothing that reminds him of an ex even though it’s definitely tattered or completely out of style.
Weak attempt at dread game, seeking to make it clear he has other options, while he has few to none.
28. Raving about how awesome some other girl is to his friends because it makes him genuinely happy to talk about her.
A clear sign that his present girlfriend is not awesome.
29. Downplaying a certain woman’s awesomeness whenever she’s mentioned around his significant other as if proactively doing damage control.
He is proactively doing damage control, because he knows he’s dating a woman who is potentially crazy enough to stab him in his sleep.
30. Asking for a girl’s contact information under the guise of potentially working together even though he knows there isn’t a chance in hell they’ll be collaborating professionally.
If he did this to the potential plate, then it’s a weak move and unless a sexual frame is strong, is nothing to worry about. If he did it to you, odds are that he is just lining up options for later.
31. Following up with a “nice to meet you” message unnecessarily.
Since when is common courtesy unnecessary?
32. Spending all of his time engrossed in conversation with another woman at a party or event even though he brought his girlfriend as his date.
Sign the girlfriend is seriously slipping in her game, and the guy needs to make a massive dread injection to make her step up.
33. Mindfully leaving his wedding ring at home when he heads out with the boys (not so much because he wants to get lucky, but just because he wants to feel like it’s in the realm of possibility for him again).
Sign the girlfriend is seriously slipping in her game, and the guy needs to make a massive dread injection to make her step up.
Summary and Conclusions
Many of the outlined examples of “micro-cheating” could be forms of dread game, however the reason why I almost called this post “33 Ways You Can Tell She Has BPD” is that the overall theme if you will, is that it shows extreme jealousy, strong possessiveness and a mixture of “I hate you, Don’t leave me“.
Dread game is something that I haven’t really covered on this blog, but in essence it is a form of behavioral correction used when a woman gets out of line. Instead of being angry, arguing or giving into scarcity mindset, the man makes it clear in a covert manner that he has other options. This is intended to make the woman in question step up her game, because the guy doesn’t want to end the relationship but will as she has let herself go.
In essence, the cited article also demonstrates many of the traits of a woman who seeks to isolate her man, control his interactions and behavior towards others and wants to be his only source of female interaction. In isolation, only one of these is a sign to get out, but the collection above, or just the invention of the term “micro-cheating” is a sign to eject immediately.
However, the positive thing about her article is that it can act as a dread game cheat-sheet for those who are unfamiliar with it, and thus it does actually add value.