Gendernomics: A Woman’s Resume

cv-sized-no-picAbout twice a year I have the questionable pleasure of having a stack of resumes land on my desk courtesy of the HR department. Over the years I’ve developed an approach to getting this task over with as fast as possible, and saving myself from having to read letters of motivation that are written in a Buzzfeed style of prose. You can tell a lot about a personality from their resume, how did they organize their information? What did they leave off and what are they highlighting? The random information such as hobbies, date of birth, marital status, often adds more information about the personality and their perspective.

Usually people try to hide gaps in their resume, for instance by leaving off months so that it does not say in black and white that they had a 6 month gap between engagements. They add tasks or responsibilities that they did not have, or they may attempt to gloss over the fact that they never finished their degree. What was different this year is that as the pile landed on my desk I was mulling over some future Gendernomics articles that I was considering, and it dawned on me that the manner in which I examine and judge resumes could be very useful when looking for plates or a long-term partner.

After all, when one is in the information gathering phase of a relationship with a new woman it is in your best interest to find all the relevant information and unearth all the red flags that are inevitably well hidden or spun as early as possible. A man must keep in mind that women are consummate propagandists and will always spin information so that they appear beyond reproach. Men spend their entire lives fighting to get credit for their virtuous behavior, women spend theirs fighting to avoid punishment for their depraved behaviors.

Section 1: Personal Information

The first section is generally the contact information for the candidate and while there is limited information to be acquired here, there are a few things to look for. Is the email address they are using appropriate? Everyone has a few emails floating around with nicknames or pseudonyms, however using these when dating, or applying for a job is a bit of a red flag. It reveals that the person does not understand what is an appropriate context for a joke email, and in terms of dating can reveal a degree of immaturity. If her email is in a different name than her own, this may be an indication that she is using an alias for some reason. If you catch a woman using 2 or more last names, multiple abbreviations of her first name, different combinations of first name, middle name and last name, this is a major red flag, as it could be a technique to prevent information gathering.

The remaining personal info can be somewhat useful, knowing a person’s age is always a good idea when reviewing information in the rest of the resume, as experience and education are dependent variables of age. Relationship status is another major point, for instance if I can figure out that an applicant is recently married and in the age range 25 – 35 without children, an assumption can be made that either children or a divorce will be incoming in 3 – 5 years.

This information will not in and of itself offer you much but it does help you interpret the information in the rest of the resume in context.

Section 2: Education

Education in a Gendernomics context deals with the perspective a person is likely to have on relationships. When reviewing a resume, the institution that granted the degrees is always an important factor to review, and in the same manner the source of her relationship education is important to establish. Humans grow up looking at their immediate family and peer group for how to conduct relationships, romantic and otherwise. They also look to their same sex parent for how to behave, and their relationship with the parent of the opposing sex is influential to how they interact with members of the opposing sex. The goal here is to determine who were her relationship role-models growing up, and the nature of the environment in which she grew up.

A woman’s relationship with her father throughout her childhood is a very important determinant of what patterns the woman may manifest as she grows older. An absent father may drive her to seek approval and validation from other men to an above average degree, which may lead to her hypergamy being more extreme than normal. This makes her more prone to branch swinging and seeking out affairs. A woman who grew up with a father who regularly betrayed her trust in a significant way, may be inherently mistrusting of men, which may manifest in multiple ways but often do in the form of control issues.

What is the sexual strategy of her mother? Domineering or submissive nurturing or a battle-axe, did she gain significant weight or let her looks go as soon as that ring went on? A woman’s mother is her first role-model for femininity, and it is no coincidence that a recommendation for men who are thinking about marriage is to find out what their prospective wife’s mother is like. Some things tend to run in families, such as borderline personality disorder or bipolar disorder. In addition, the mother is the source of her daughters behavioral schema, meaning that if the daughter grew up watching her mother hen-peck her father, she is probably going to engage in this same behavior. This is no different from how a male who grew up with a domineering mother is likely to be a submissive doormat.

Finally, how was/is the relationship between her parents? Are they still together happily after 30 years or are they more on and off than a North Korean power grid? Did they split while she was young and go through series of relationships after, with more children and multiple additional divorces, leading her to lack stability during childhood? Humans tend to base their parenting style and relationship expectations somewhat on that of their parents. If their prospective partner is a career girl type, it is probable that her mother instilled this need in her either through overt or covert communication.

Her early life experiences of her parents and their relationship often shape much of her personality. For instance if she grew up in constant high drama situations, she is likely to share the temperament that causes this, even though she may hide it. If she comes from a family of domineering women, she most likely inherited this trait. If her father was a weak man who was crushed and dominated by her mother, odds are she will end up wanting to replay this pattern. Learning about both of her parents and  their relationship is thus, a predictor of what she will be like in a similar situation. This is not to say that it is entirely deterministic, however humans are perhaps the most influenced by their parents and other family members. Those behavioral patterns and circumstances we experienced first, are often the ones that are embedded deeply within our psyche.

Section 3: Experience

This is where one gets into the meat and potatoes of a resume. Her education may be stellar or below par, but this is when some her own personal patterns can be observed and considered in order to make a well reasoned decision as to how and whether one should proceed.

A major red flag when reviewing a person’s experience is the duration of their various engagements. If a person has many short-term assignments that were by definition short-term such as internships, the duration is of less importance, however one should consider why few if any of these shorter term engagements resulted in a longer term position. However, if the person only seems to stay with an employer a year or two at most this is a red flag, because odds are they are only going to stay with you for about that time. You may not be able to discern whether they quit or were fired, however odds are that if there are gaps between the jobs they got fired.

The same way, if the woman keeps telling you about the 7 different men she’s cohabited with at age 24, this demonstrates a predilection for playing house, but it also indicates that she tends to move very quickly in relationships. Another aspect is that if she consistently moved into their apartments, she is most likely running a side-business of girlfriend experience in exchange for room and board.

If she talks about various men in her life but never mentions any past relationships, or a low number of past relationships for her age, such as woman in her late twenties that only mentions one or two relationships, this is a sign that she should be asked to provide follow-up information. If she has multiple long-term relationships with no cohabitation, marriage or children, this tends to indicate a relationship where she was a side-chick as it is very rare for 3 – 5 year relationships not to end at the very least with cohabitation. If she lets it slip that she left because the guy didn’t want to get married, this is a massive red flag, it likely means that she is on the marriage path after her plan A failed. It also means that her Plan A, after knowing her for a long time was damn sure he did not to be with her for the long term.

In the case of not having had any long-term relationships, it is an indicator that she has spent a lot of time “having fun” throughout her party years, and have hit an unforeseen epiphany phase. This recent change sent her out on the market again and she is now hunting beta males. A related red flag would be if men just seem to be randomly dropping out of the sky, lets say she dated Mike from 16 to 21, the spent 6 months single, then dated John from 22 until 23, then spent a year single, then dated Christopher from 24 to 26, this may not be a red flag in and of itself. However, if after a glass or two of wine she talks about David, Slade and Chad, despite never having mentioned them before, odds are that she is hiding more skeletons in her closet than Dennis Nilsen.

Section 4: Hobbies and Other Interests

This section on a normal resume is usually where people try to show that they are more than just a worker and showing a “go-getter” mindset in everything they try. In the dating world, there are certain hobbies that are simply massive red flags. Horse chicks in general tend to be screwed up in one way or another, after all they chose a hobby that is both expensive and labor intensive. Keep an eye out for expensive hobbies in general as it usually means you will be covering the financial cost if you stick around. No woman ever dialed down her spending after getting a man to handle the expenses.

If her hobby is going out partying with her friends, going to the typical party or resort towns or visiting her friends in Dubai, it’s a general sign that she’s spent more time in rooms full of dicks than a Yankees coach. In general a woman who lists “travel” as one of her hobbies, tends to use it as a synonym of “banging men nobody at home knows about“. A lack of hobbies, or those of the “Social media” or “Television” variety often means that you will be her new hobby once she sinks her claws in, or that she has one she doesn’t want to reveal. Usually not wanting to share a hobby means that it somehow contradicts something about the narrative she sold you on.

Summary and Conclusions

The sum of a woman’s education shapes her behavior and gives her the foundation for adult relationships, her own experience, and the traits she brings to a relationship are often strong determinants of the course that relationship takes. While being alpha enough and having strong enough boundaries can be the differentiating factor between failure and success in such a relationship, one must evaluate a candidate not only for their own fit, but on how much they will require in terms of training and additional experience to become a positive contributor.

The manosphere has done a great job collecting red flags and various warning signals that women display early on in relationships. These range from wanting the relationship to move very quickly, which is a trait of cluster B women, often driven by the fact that they can only maintain their mask of sanity for so long, and want to get their hooks in as deep as possible before their mask slips to a lack of maturity or a high notch count. Extreme neediness, which is generally a manifestation of lack of confidence, controlling behavior, which may stem from neediness, but also from a desire to become their partner’s mental point of origin. Constant blame shifting, such as explaining that every man she has ever dated was crazy, or had problems of some form is another flag. Anyone can date a bad apple or two, but if all you get are bad apples, there is a problem with the picker.

As with a resume, what you are looking for in a partner is stability and consistency. This is not to discourage spontaneity, however many times what appears “fun and spontaneous” at first, often masks instability and a tendency towards impulsive behavior. This may be fine in a plate, however, for a long-term relationship a woman who has a history of leaving her life behind to have adventures, is the exact type that may decide that she wants to have her own “Eat, Pray, Love” tour.

A person who bounced from fry cook, to accountant, to garbage collector, to law school, to community college, is likely to have issues with stability and may lack the ability to stick with things and determine what they desire. This is similar to a woman who has dated every type of man from actuary to zoologist.  A history of dating many men is a red flag in general, due to the toll this takes on the ability to pair bond, and the sheer volume of baggage she will have. However, when the men are radically different from each other and she appears to have no real preference, this may be a sign of an unstable personality.

Doing a solid review of her resume, will often be a good guard against oneitis, and is a precaution against the tendency that most males have to fall very fast and very hard. In nature this most likely served a purpose, but in a context where the consequences of failed relationships are rapidly rising taking steps to ensure your own security is paramount.

Advertisements

6 comments on “Gendernomics: A Woman’s Resume

  1. Hive Mind says:

    Great Write up

    Like

  2. Generic says:

    A really good read.

    Like

  3. […] clear that this is a function of what is encapsulated in a quote from my previous article “A Woman’s Resume“: “Men spend their entire lives fighting to get credit for their virtuous behavior, […]

    Like

  4. Craig James says:

    “Constant blame shifting, such as explaining that every man she has ever dated was crazy, or had problems of some form is another flag. Anyone can date a bad apple or two, but if all you get are bad apples, there is a problem with the picker.”

    This is allegorical of most everyone stuck in perpetual mediocrity or a life marked by dissatisfaction. The energy that could (and should) be exerted towards correcting their self-inflicted misery is instead depleted making excuses and blaming all that is outside of their control.

    At a rudimentary level, the cure is to simply focus less on what others are doing and more on what they ought to be doing to better their circumstances. Blame shifting is the enemy of personal progress and a red flag than one shuns personal responsibility, as you aptly pointed out.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s