This community to which many of us belong, called the manosphere is in many ways the largest self-improvement community on earth. When I first encountered it in the early 2000s, it was known as the seduction community and was uniquely focused on one area of achievement, namely learning the skills to improve relationships with women. When I returned late 2015, I was intrigued to see that it had changed from a community that had a singular focus, to a community that had embraced a much wider mission. Part of the reason why I decided to leave many years ago, was that the community was solely focused on being perceived as a high value male, as opposed to becoming a high value male. While these may appear to be similar, the former is akin to a woman adopting all the modern tricks of the trade to take herself from a 4 to a 7, as opposed to actually putting in the work to be a true seven.
As with most in the sphere, I tend to engage in constant self-improvement with varying intensities, and I’ve found gap analysis to be a very useful tool for both man design and lifestyle design. A gap analysis is a tool that is utilized in business, where the present state is established in detail, for instance based on market share, organizational capabilities or overall strategy. One then identifies the desired future state, so that it is possible to identify the gap between present and desired state, so that action can be taken to reach the desired future state.
Any self-improvement journey starts with a simple “From A to B” however many make detours when enjoying these travels, some embrace the process, others the goal. One can apply a gap analysis to most aspects so long as they can be quantified reasonably well. As management guru Peter Drucker once said “What gets measured gets managed“, I’ve assisted quite a few businesses and men in improvement efforts throughout the years and what is a virtually eternal truth is that the measuring systems are not in place to ensure progress towards the desired end-state and thus the results suffer.
The Red Pill Logic Perspective
From this perspective, all men must adopt some similar principles. I’ll use a married man in his 40s, a college freshman and a recently divorced 35 year old as my examples in this post. All the three example men have to adopt an understanding of female nature as outlined by red pill philosophy, including AWALT, Hypergamy and Solipsism as these are primary drivers of the sexual market place. The married man is likely to struggle the most of the three with this perspective, as he is invested in the blue pill fantasy more than the other men. After all, in order to get married in the present social, political and economic situation one must have an irrational belief in a good outcome against the odds. The College Freshman is the second most likely to be invested in the blue pill reality, owing to his youth and idealism. The reason for being less invested than the married man is that while he has an overall investment in the blue pill mindset, it is not yet personal to him in the same manner that it will be to a married man. Perhaps the less invested is the Cluster B discard, as he has faced head on the strongest variant of AWALT that exists. As outlined in “Methods to Female Madness“, cluster B women represent those women who manifest the various feminine mechanisms in their most powerful and exploitative variant.
As I’ve said before, normally a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, but the red pill is only fully swallowed from a kick to the testicles. This is the first-principle of self-improvement, it only happens as a result of opposition. A man who is perfectly happy will not engage in self-improvement, the need to improve is a deductive solution that acts as a means to a desired end. Human beings do not expend energy without an expectation that the expense will yield a satisfactory return. However, to ensure such a return those resources must be allocated towards the right end-goals.
The right end-goals can only be identified if one conducts the gap analysis to identify the present state, and the means available to proceed from present to desired end state. Furthermore, one must ensure that the end-state is congruent with the means to reach it.
The Gendernomics Perspective
The Gendernomics series largely deals with the economics of the mating market from supply and demand to different strategies to differentiate in the market. This is by large an extended metaphor employed to a philosophical concept, “The Sexual Market Place“. The goal is to offer quantitative and anchored concepts that permit men to understand and employ the various manosphere tactics and strategies more effectively, in addition to measure their outcomes. If you are seeking to improve your relationships with women, whether that means successful long-term relationships in some variant, becoming more sexually successful, whatever that means to you, or anything in between the identification of your present state is of prime importance.
The man who is living within a marriage and comes to the red pill after years within a life of quiet desperation, seeking to improve his life with his wife, the man who is about to go to college and is still a virgin, or the 35 year old guy who just got discarded by a cluster B and sees a mating market drier than the Sahara desert, all have a present state and all have a desired future state. However, it is likely not to be quantified or documented in any meaningful manner. They may all just want “more sex“, but while the married man is looking to elicit this from the woman to whom he granted a state sanctioned monopoly as his sexual provider, the College freshman is seeking this out in perhaps the most saturated mating market he will ever be within, and the recent discard is still likely spinning from the events that lead him to this point.
They all have differing present states and differing desired future states, thus their approaches are not going to be identical, not should they be. There are “one-size fits all” approaches that are likely to be useful for all men, such as getting into better shape and overhauling their mindset in general, then there are contextual approaches that only makes sense to some. For instance, the married guy should probably avoid cheating on his wife, the college guy should probably avoid getting stuck in an LTR by accident, and the former Cluster B dater should probably clean up the issues that got him into a relationship with a cluster B before entering the dating market again.
These men are all viewing this from a different market situation. The married man as mentioned is in a position where he has sold universal and binding rights with his wife to be the monopolistic supplier/receiver of sex. The College age man is entering perhaps the most saturated market he will be dealing with in his life, he is in a situation where there are many female suppliers, but also much male competition. However, his market has the benefit of excluding the upper brackets of male sexual market value for the most part. The discard, is entering a challenging market, burdened with baggage, he is entering the market while having neglected his sexual market value for a long time.
Thus, the men have different requirements and different gaps they must overcome. They all have areas where standard manosphere methodology will apply, improve their body, improve their sense of grooming and work on their game, however they all have some unique requirements as well. The married guy faces unique constraints to his game, in the form of a marriage and a history of being the dutiful beta to his wife, this perception must be changed. The College Freshman faces a market with aggressive competition, and must balance his game with his education. The Cluster B discard has baggage and mindset issues that must be worked out.
Therefore, it follows that each man must determine how to efficiently allocated his resources, both financial and in terms of time towards the maximum reward for minimum effort. This is not a contradiction of the recent “high energy” trend of the manosphere, but an observation that those who seek to run sprints as marathons and marathons as sprints will fail in both. Every endeavor must be calibrated to the needs and abilities of the person who seeks to bring it from idea to fully realized product. An interesting paradox inherent to our species appears to be that we are designed to be lazy, yet plan as if we have unlimited energy.
Summary and Conclusions
If I were asked to present one principle from this post, it would be that self-improvement must come from a place of want, and be tailored around a person’s present situation. There is a tendency among some to apply “one size fits all” advice to a situation that is highly contextual and personalized. The advice itself is frequently sound, however the means by which the benefits are sought realized are often flawed. This is reminiscent of the old seduction community where everyone was told “Go out and do 100 opens“, this is magnificent advice for men who suffer from approach anxiety, but it is not going to assist the man who has no problems opening but struggles with closing, or the man who seeks to bring a spark back into his long-dead marriage.
One of the more interesting things I’ve observed with “married game” advice, is that to some extent it comes down to “work more for the expectancy of a higher salary“, in essence “become a better deal for your wife“. This advice is sound for the men who are active within the sexual market place, becoming a better man, and thus a better deal, gives you access to a higher quality of woman. However, within an existing relationship one must consider the opportunity cost of the self-improvement while remaining within an unsatisfactory deal paradigm. Is the sunk cost of remaining in the relationship, and investing more into making it work, worth it as opposed to ejecting from the relationship and starting over? After all, your attempt to better your deal with a wife or girlfriend, also demonstrates to her that breaking the previous conditions of your deal will cause you to improve the deal for her.
This is not a criticism of manosphere advice, as much of it is sound and valid. It is a reminder that men find the red pill at different stages of their lives, facing different problems and wanting different outcomes. The applied methodology must be adapted to the desired outcome, and the desired outcome must itself be determined by sound analysis. Some early success helps drive a person through the slumps and across the roadblocks that they face on a long journey. A journey that begins with a crash is likely to be a short one. I had this debate with a friend who works as a personal trainer, he struggled in the early days of his business, because according to his thinking, patients want to know that his program works. Therefore he whipped them so hard the first time they came in, that they were sore for weeks afterwards, and lost all desire to ever come back.
In the same manner, if one tells a young man, lacking in social skills, meaning that he is non-calibrated in social interactions, to go out and do 100 approaches, while armed with an opener or two, odds are he will be slapped down 99% of the time. Sure he will have made some progress, however this progress will be the equivalent of the progress made in that first gym session. A start, but a start that was also the end. Therefore, identifying present state and desired end state, permits each man to design for himself a plan of action with the required milestones and measures to ensure success, adapted to his own context.