As part of an on going series, I’ve covered a lot of topics related to female madness. I wrote about women with narcissism, borderline personality disorder, antisocial personality disorder, common methods they employ and their prevalence in the world. Recently I also wrote a post in a compare and contrast fashion between the behaviors of a normal woman when chasing an alpha and a crazy woman chasing a victim, in a post I themed “Normal Vs. Crazy“.
With in excess of 10.000 words of content dedicated to the topic, I had somewhat decided to put it away for now, until a very interesting week happened. The Red Pill reddit saw a man lamenting having gotten a 40 year old single-mom pregnant, twitter blew up over various forms of female subterfuge, and thus, I found myself with more topics to cover.
Subterfuge is defined as “deception by artifice or stratagem in order to conceal, escape, or evade”  and is a commonly used tool by women in general, but by women with mental issues in particular. These women have many things that they seek to conceal, and tactics to effectively do so.
Concealing Her True Nature
A woman of this nature becomes inherently skilled at acting as a requirement for her life is that she conceals the turmoil beneath the surface. If one defines these women as predators, it becomes clear that a predator that is easily spotted by its prey would be one with little success. Thus, it follows that she will after years of practice be a skilled actress that takes utmost care to conceal her true nature.
The styles of subterfuge can often be broken down into two stratagems, the one related to concealing her truth nature, and the one aimed to rapidly seduce the man.
As I researched this series, one of the major red flags that were often overlooked by the men who got duped by these women was the tendency for the woman’s life story to be a very tragic one. The women cast themselves as the good natured protagonist beset on all sides by antagonists seeking to destroy them.
Common examples include abusive exes, abusive friends, questionable family relations and a general sense that this person has been taken advantage of and treated poorly for most of their life.
This is both a play on the man’s empathy and a way to ensure that he will not seek out anyone who knows the truth of her history in order to clarify her true nature. Often, the truth to the matter is that they are in fact the instigator of these conflicts and situations, and frequently do tell the truth, yet with reversed roles.
Such a gambit is often combined with a personality presentation designed that is tailored as innocent, naive or otherwise make the man less likely to question her stories. This makes very much sense, as humans often judge and react to stories based on the person who tells them. This is a basic principle in rhetoric, that the ethos and pathos of a speaker must be in somewhat congruence with the logos that is presented.
The goal is to deceive the male of her inherent nature, while at the same time seeking to elicit his sympathy and protective instincts.
Entrapping the Man
The second part of the subterfuge is those tactics and methods she utilizes to trap her victim. These may differ from woman to woman, according to the female sexual strategies framework, however the goal reveals the tactics. The only true means by which a female of this nature may “lock a man down” is through the legal system.
The first major ploy utilized is the perfect partner routine where she molds herself into the perfect woman for the man she has targeted. Most men are elated when a woman pays enormous amounts of attention to them, and are more than happy to provide her with all the information she needs in order to morph herself into the perfect woman. At this point the man may feel as if he is the victim of a police interrogation, and this is quite accurate in that everything he says can and will be used against him.
A few men remarked at how they felt like the woman who ended up being perceived as their soulmate appeared rather bland in initial interactions and this is because she had not yet determined how to present herself. As he volunteers a steady stream of information to her, she utilizes this to become more and more like the ideal woman in his head. Thus, the longer they interact the more perfect she becomes in his eyes, until he is utterly and completely suffering from oneitis.
The second offensive comes in the form of what I theme the “flip-around“, where she slowly starts to take back control through her established foothold in his psyche. This process is much like the story of the frog being slowly boiled alive, who does not jump out due to the gradual increase of heat in the water. The first examples of a turn are generally quite surprising for the man, as they appear to be out of character, yet unrelated and original enough that they are filed away as isolated incidents.
The incidents tend to fall into three categories, dominance, control and definition. Dominance may manifest in that if the man normally decides where they go to dinner, she suddenly insists on deciding this one evening, or perhaps flakes on plans. Control tend to come in the form of a nuclear shit test to determine how much she can act out without consequences to the relationship. Finally, definition is the most insidious as this is when she tests how much power she has to define the man’s reality.
The definition test may be as simple as starting an argument over something that happened a while ago, and seeing if the man will accept her (false) narrative of what took place. It may be throwing a tantrum in public (control test) and then afterwards seeing if the man will accept blame for this based on her narrative (definition).
These three variants on tests serve the purpose of letting the woman know how effective her gambits have been and how invested the man is in continuing the relationship. As I outlined in the previous texts, their goal is to progress the relationship rapidly forwards, as the longer a relationship goes on, the more likely it is that the man will suspect something.
Thus, they need to progress the relationship to a point where the man is invested and preferably legally entangled with her, in order to have additional room to maneuver. One must keep in mind that if a woman acts insane on a first date, odds are a second date will not materialize. If one has been going out for six months, and are not living together, a break-up is quite an easy and fast thing. However, if there are children involved, if there is a marriage involved, or other legal barriers to exit, such a break up may be very difficult and the man will have a much higher threshold for pushing the eject button.
One story I was told from a gentleman was that he was sponsored entry into his fiances home country, and thus was dependent on the relationship in order to remain within the country. Therefore, he was invested in making the relationship work.
As the relationship progresses, the man can expect all three types of tests to increase, but especially the definition style tests. One of the major reasons why this type of woman seeks to isolate the man from his family and social circle is that controlling the perception of one person is possible, controlling the perception of 10 or more is much more difficult.
Her backstory, will naturally have holes in it and people who are not invested in a relationship and viewing her as their one shot at love and a perfect life, are more likely to become suspicious. Very few men want to be suspicious of the woman who appears to be their perfect mirror image in life, and the final piece of the puzzle for the soul-mate myth.
The Legal Game
Initially I referenced a story from Reddit where a gentleman who had been engaging in a sexual relationship with a single mother 20 years his senior, got her pregnant. The story went that he broke it off with her as a result of her general level of insanity, he then went to visit her domicile in order to retrieve some of his belongings. Long story short, he had post-breakup unprotected sex with her. I’ve heard this story more times than I like, and it appears that the “post-breakup raw” is a common tactic as a last ditch attempt by the crazy woman to retake control, and in the worst case scenario secure herself 18 – 21 years of child support.
Another gambit are false accusations or threats of false accusations in the break-up moment or shortly thereafter. I’ve seen the acronym “ABR”, which stands for “Always be Recording” appearing more and more frequently, especially when planning a break up with someone who you suspect is unstable. In a fairly recent case in Australia the man was only acquitted because he started recording when the woman he had met on Tinder started to act out in his apartment.
The third and final gambit is the marriage gambit where the woman seeks to elicit marriage from the man very rapidly. Once a couple has been married, it becomes a costly and expensive process to get divorced. Furthermore, any children the woman has when a married will be assumed to be the husband’s. The third and first gambits and thus quite complimentary and are often engaged together.
Summary and Conclusions
The two levels of subterfuge can be likened to camouflage and hunting techniques. Camouflage serves to conceal the predator upon approach and lull the prey into a sense of security. Whereas hunting techniques are those methods that permit the predator to get within necessary range and set the prey up for the kill.
As with much behavior written about in this series, this is in a sense quite normal out in the dating world, ranging from people who present false pictures on online dating services, to those who claim to like olives because their prospective sexual partner does. The major distinction comes in the degree of subterfuge a person engages in, in order to realize the desired outcome.
The distinction is not so much the tactics used or the stages that these progress through, but rather the desired outcome and motivation behind them. While it is not uncommon for people to misrepresent themselves somewhat during dating and courtship, the motivation behind doing so is often to avoid rejection rather than to slowly take control of another human being.
Dangerous personalities by Joe Navarro