So, lets talk about anger, it’s a human emotion, exists in varying degrees from simple annoyance to all-out wrath, it leads to both psychological and physiological changes, can control you or drive you forward. A common accusation levied at the red pill is that it makes men angry, it makes men angry at women, something which struck me as strange for the longest time. How can seeing reality for the first time, lead a man to become angry? This anger stage is perhaps natural as the red pill does have the effect of demonstrating to us that we have been fooled for years, even decades of our lives. It’s the equivalent of being sold that working a dead-end 9 – 5 job will lead to you becoming a multi-millionaire only to find out as you are about to retire that it was all a lie.
This forces you to accept that you have invested resources and time for many years of your life in a flawed methodology, and accepting that you were fooled can be a difficult thing. In order to move beyond anger one must accept that those decisions were taken with the best information you had available at the time and that the results thereof are not indicative of a personal failure on your part but on bad information.
In an earlier essay I wrote:
The second stage of being exposed to red pill philosophy is frequently anger. Some manifest anger at womanhood in general for the duplicitous sexual strategy of “Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks”, others at fathers for not “raising them right”, or the world for not informing them. When a man is presented with evidence that most of the resources he spent towards getting laid, and much of the associated frustration when she just wanted to be friends after 11 dates with no sex, are easily explained. He triggered her provider instinct and thus she put off sex while deciding if she was ready to settle down. Anger is a natural reaction, both at himself, at women and at the society that told him that he was doing the right thing for his goal, but that misled him.
It was a case of the principal and the agent, where he was raised not to be someone’s one night stand, but the man his mother wanted his father to be. His social programming has been one that sets him up to realize the worst possible deal for himself, but the best one possible for the woman and the social group. In this manner, he may find himself experiencing feelings of being deceived, not only by the society without a face, but also by those in which he has the most trust.
Perhaps the most sinister is the realization that much like the unknowing population of the Matrix, that were slowly being drained of bio-energy to power other creatures, the man within the blue pill framework is slowly being drained of his energy to enable and power the society to which he belongs.
In short, the man feels duped because he constructed his imaginary system of how the world works based on, in the best case scenario flawed information and in the worst case scenario, deliberately misleading information. He spent a life as a good boy, believing in that if he became the avatar of those qualities that society venerates on the surface, he would be rewarded for his efforts.
The Red Pill and Anger
Imagine your average beta male, he has been told that being a good guy, reliable worker, conscientious citizen, morally upstanding and so on are the ways to a woman’s heart. Throughout his life he has received some intermittent reinforcement of this belief, because his beta game has gotten him a girlfriend once in a while. However, he’s always observed that most of the women appear to gravitate towards the “assholes”, then come to cry on his shoulder about the asshole. This gives birth to some resentment, after all as they are soaking his shirt in tears over lost-alpha, the women often tell him what a great guy he is and how any girl would be lucky to have him as their boyfriend, yet if he makes a tentative move, he is rebuffed with “I just like you as a friend“, “I don’t want to ruin our great friendship” or perhaps “You are like a brother to me“. Naturally, this gives rise to some bitterness, after all from the male deductive mode of thinking, if she thinks he is such a great boyfriend product, why won’t she make the buy? Why does she run to Chad, a bad product according to the social programming, get her heart broken by Chad, only to return to him to cry? However, he could never be angry with her, after all he secretly loves and adores her, imagines their perfect family, perfect house and perfect life together if she would just choose him.
Thus he directs his anger to different targets, himself, his family, his friends, society, anything but her. Then this man comes across the red pill after writing “Why doesn’t she love me” or something similar into a search engine and finds himself going down the rabbit hole. He realizes that the girl he had put on the pedestal and raised to the level of goddess in his life is a fallible human. Rather than being made of sugar, spice and everything nice, she is merely human, his Aphrodite is just Anna. He realizes that to her, he has much higher value as an emotional tampon and other forms of utility than he does as a reproductive partner, especially during her party years, maybe if he’s nice for another 5 – 10 years, after she’s dated Chads for a decade or two, he can have the leftovers. He realizes that the girl is Jenny, and he’s Forest Gump.
Naturally this angers him, because he’s been an idiot, but rather than accepting that he was acting on bad information, invested his time and resources into the wrong person and accept it as a sunk cost. He keeps kneading it over and over in his head, and instead of being angry with himself, and sublimating this anger into the very accomplishments that will increase his value, weight lifting, dressing better, improving himself and make the most out of his natural talents, he displaces his anger from himself to women in general.
The Paradise That Shattered
His anger is understandable in a sense, after all this man spent perhaps decades investing in making himself the exact man he was told women love. However, this sunk cost he can perhaps accept, what he cannot accept is the destruction of his imagined future and his internalized beliefs. The future has been his companion and his escape for most of his life, as he watched the girl of his dreams get ran through by Chad after Chad, watched her cry, comforted her, and was her emotional tampon, he imagined what it would be like when she finally realized that he was the one. He constructed an elaborate fantasy world that puts your average romantic comedy to shame in his head, this was his place of refuge, his consolation and his happy place.
The Red Pill is the explosive charge that leveled that paradise. The red pill tells him, not only are your investments in becoming a good safety net for her null and void, so is your fantasy world and your future dreams of her. There will be no happily ever after, there will be no perfect life, at best you’ll get her second best, whatever Chad leaves on the plate. Sure, you may end up married to her, even as the father of her children, but she will never desire you as she desired him, never give herself to you as she gave herself to him and within her there will always be that part of him that she dreams of, just as your imagined future with her was your happy place, her alternate life with Chad is her happy place. This is his struggle, as long as he could believe in his idealism, that once she realized that Chad was not the man for her, he would get her best, her brightest, her best version of herself, her all, a perfect life, with perfect children and a perfect marriage, he could live with the suffering. However, now that he realizes that she has given her best to someone else, and what he gets is the minimum she must give him in order to secure his resources, he becomes angry and bitter.
After all, he’s just realized that he has based his life on a lie, he has spent most of his life following a path that benefits his group, not himself. He has in fact made many choices to not do what makes him happy in the moment, in order to secure what he imagined as a happy future. He skipped parties to study, he skipped having fun on his vacations so he could do internships, he worked every summer to finance his education, he has sacrificed his present in order to secure his future for his entire life. And it was all for nothing.
Summary and Conclusions
Some time ago I wrote an essay on defense mechanisms, where I described displacement as follows:
The defense mechanism known as displacement is when feelings that would get you in trouble are transferred from the target to a more harmless target. For instance, a husband may be angry at his wife, but instead takes it out on his employees. Feelings of lust towards an employee may be displaced to the wife. In essence, this is a simple case of moving feelings from one target to another. A person may also transfer anger at another into anger directed at themselves, which then manifests as self-destructive behavior.
In the case of the man who rejects the red pill because “It makes it impossible to have a relationship because it makes me angry with women“, or “The red pill makes it impossible to look at women with anything except suspicion“, it is displacement of the feelings the man feels towards the red pill theory. After all, it’s much easier to be angry with a bunch of guys who write essays online, than it is to be angry with yourself, your family, your ex girlfriends of women in general than to admit that you feel insecure in your relationship since discovering the truth. Are you the man who is the Apex to her, or are you the consolation prize after she was done “having fun”.
Male anger upon realizing their poor investments over a lifetime is understandable. After all, their families, social group, peer group and women have given them a methodology, and that methodology was not in the best interest of the man. However, Hanlon’s razor dictates that one should not attribute to malice that which can be attributed to incompetence. Many beta men do not know any better and the women in a man’s family are frequently focused on creating a great husband for their future daughter in law, rather than creating a Chad. The women in a man’s family are acting based on solipsism and context, they are their prime and advice based on what their own needs are and what is not functioning within their current relationship. Most men have male peer groups without red pill knowledge, and those who are lucky enough to be part of a peer group consisting of “naturals” rarely find themselves searching out the red pill in the first place, they learn as we are supposed to learn by observing their peer group.
Those that struggle the most with anger are the most idealistic, most harshly moral and most past-oriented men among us. I’ve referenced the fable of the Scorpion and the Frog previously on this blog.
The Scorpion and the Frog A scorpion and a frog meet on the bank of a stream and the scorpion asks the frog to carry him across on its back. The frog asks, "How do I know you won't sting me?" The scorpion says, "Because if I do, I will die too." The frog is satisfied, and they set out, but in midstream, the scorpion stings the frog. The frog feels the onset of paralysis and starts to sink, knowing they both will drown, but has just enough time to gasp "Why?" Replies the scorpion: "Its my nature..."
The moral of this story is that the frog cannot be angry with the scorpion because the scorpion only did what he was designed to do, namely to sting. The frog on the other hand neglected his natural instincts to run away and not help the scorpion. Any man who engaged his perceptive state while growing up, will have noticed that the women flocked to men who are the very antithesis of what society deems “good men“. One can argue that religion, conservative social policies or whatnot alleviated this tendency somewhat, but to what end? Female nature hasn’t changed in 100 years, the incentive to hide it has. Quite frankly I doubt that the world that some social conservatives imagine as our past ever existed ever did, because there is a reason why “Wow, your kid looks more like the mail/milk man” has been a running put down for as long as there have been milk men and mailmen.
This gives rise to a lot of behaviors among men, some use their anger to better themselves and to realize a better deal for themselves, which is the core of The Red Pill. To build enough value and power, to take full responsibility for your past, present and most importantly your future, in order to make the life you desire a reality, whether that is as a patriarch or as a playboy. Some men learn game and set about “punishing” women for deceiving them over the years, seeking to sleep with as many women as possible by any means necessary to try and medicate their anger. However, an eye for an eye makes the whole world blind. Yet another option is to blame men, attempt to punish other men through morality plays, emotional appeals, fear and shame, to become their sister’s keeper, this is men giving up their own self-interest for the interests of women and society by other means.
This is my treatise on anger, the why, how and what of why men go through an anger phase after finding the red pill. So, for those of you who are angry, who are still here, I will tell you why you’re angry. You are angry because you have not let go of your fantasy, your idealistic dream world and the perfect society you have created in your head. You are angry with women, because the reality of women are not like the idealistic version of them you have constructed in your own head.
You can pick the difficult path, let go of the fantasy, over time your anger will subside and you can start moving forward. Sublimate your anger into making you into a man of power, a man of value, a man of options and a man in control of his own destiny. Anger exists for this very reason, to drive a man from complacency to action.
If you refuse to pick the difficult path, you have exactly two options:
A) You can re-enter the matrix and attempt to create your fantasy either by trying to forget what you now know, but always having it nagging in the back of your mind, or by dogmatically trying to punish other men for not wanting to live in the matrix with you using shame, fear, obligation, guilt, emotional appeals and morality.
B) You can go Hard MGTOW and never talk to another woman again.
Pick your poison.
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