The Male Epiphany Phase

One of my blessings, or curses depending on perspective is that I’m pretty good with recognizing patterns. This is one of the reasons why I get so much enjoyment out of watching the change that takes place in a woman’s social media profile from the age of 20 up until she turns 35. While this pattern was fairly obvious even before social media, never before have we been able to watch the sexual market graph develop on a daily basis, complete with illustrations. I find it very interesting how a woman’s social media profile up until about 28 is largely composed of drinking, travel, parties and thirstbait, then suddenly one day it starts with a meme about where all the good men are. Slowly over the next few years, body shots are replaced with glasses of red wine and 3 course meals, the cleavage becomes church appropriate, cats start to frequent more often, and the travel pictures are replaced with “professional” photos. This is hardly a surprise to red pill men as the transition between the party years and the wall has been documented quite well especially on The Rational Male in the by now infamous “SMV Graph”, however for the Beta in Waiting it’s his ship finally coming in.

The reason it’s called the epiphany phase, is because this is the time in a woman’s life when she realizes that her sexual market value is not on an eternal growth path into the high heavens, but instead has been in steady decline for a few years, perhaps even 5 or 6 years. She suddenly comes to the jarring realization that she is struggling to compete with “younger, hotter, tighter”, and the men she could have easily had only a few years ago are not showing the same level of interest. Thus, she changes her market strategy to appeal to “The Good Men“, those men of whom she said “You will make a great husband”, “Why are you single” and “You are such a great friend“. Those men, who while she was busy doing body shots, partying and enjoying her sexual self-discovery, got a degree, a professional job and built a capacity to provide. This is how the transition starts.

Her desire for men who are exiting, confident, aloof, impulsive, aggressive, dominant, direct and disagreeable, remain her preference for short trysts however for the first time in her life the men who are stable, relaxed, a bit more neurotic, attentive, predictable, laid back, cooperative, indirect and agreeable become visible to her. Men who can provide for her long term well-being through stable incomes, personalities and preferences.  Those men, whom to her younger self would have scarcely made a blip on her radar suddenly send up warning lights and sirens, she finds herself drawn to them.

We call this “The Epiphany Phase” in women ,and while I largely reject the idea that “For every female inter/intrasexual dynamic there has to be a male direct equivalent“, I notice a similar pattern in many men, perhaps even one that is exacerbated in red pill men and pick-up artists, where by the time they hit their 30s and 40s, they develop a disdain for their previous lifestyle, often adopt religion and seek to transition from playboy to patriarch. They become disillusioned by what they regard as a vapid, hedonistic, self-gratifying lifestyle and start to seek something more. Funnily enough this seems to lead to them, growing huge-ass beards, developing a fascination with metaphysics, spirituality and using the word “virtue” a lot. This is often followed by the idealization of bygone ages, of when men were men, women were women and children were seen not heard.

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Gendernomics: Conversions and Drivers

If you started asking around the manosphere who is the most frequent pest in DMs, I think many of the men would point at me. I’m quite a prolific brain picker, whether that means asking Goldmund a few questions about Camera Game before I tried that the first time, checking in with Well Built Style or Tanner when I’m looking to upgrade my wardrobe, getting some day game info from Troy or TD, Beard tips from George Bruno, workout tips from AJA Cortes or this week when I asked the whole Red Man Group about an issue I was having with turning one-night stands into plates. The reason why I do this is that it’s much more efficient to ask someone who has a lot of information and experience on a subject to give you some quick input than it is to gain their experience and knowledge for myself. I consider myself very lucky that I’m in a position where I can ask these men questions about their field of expertise and not get DM blocked. I think Rian Stone found the best term for this on his blog which he refers to as “Men Swapping Notes”.

One of the main reasons why I ask all these questions is that there are areas in life where I’m an expert, and there are other areas I want to bring up to par, I don’t need to be an expert, but I need to know enough that I have that area of my life handled. A couple of years ago, I would probably be featured in an “Average Guy Style” or “Trash shoes” thread, now I won’t. I’m a far way from being GQ cover material, but at least I’m not wearing jeans  that are two sizes to big with 3 year old Nike Airs everywhere. A second reason is that the more information I can aggregate up in my head, the more patterns I’m able to discern that then can become blog content. This is one of these threads. Continue reading