A lot has been written about how a man who finds The Red Pill will go through the Kubler-Ross model of grief, also known as “the 5 stages of grief”. I myself have written two essays on the subject, one dealing with the 5 stages in general, and one focused on the anger phase. The interesting thing is that while a lot of energy has been spent talking about the anger phase, very little has been spent on the other 5 stages.
I suspect that the reason for this is that while a great majority of men who find The Red Pill, will either end up in the denial phase or the anger phase, there is much drop-off during the anger phase. To be frank, many men who find the red pill find themselves incapable of moving beyond the anger phase and simply remain there, utilizing a wide range of defense mechanisms to avoid having to deal with the problem.
The most common ones being: Continue reading
I was challenged on something a while back, which was the red pill and empathy. I always find empathy to be a questionable topic to engage in because most people have an internal picture of what constitutes empathy, which if we drew up a Venn diagram would overlap greatly with sympathy and compassion but also with less desirable emotions such as pity. This on it’s own is a recipe for getting off to a rocky start, but such discussions are further complicated by the simple fact that when discussion emotions people will tend to be self-referential, thus there are substantial ego-investments that lay the foundation for non-productive discourse.
Empathy is often divided into two subtypes, cognitive empathy and emotional empathy, where the latter is what we often think of when someone mentions empathy. Cognitive empathy is covered as part of theory of mind, which is the ability to cognitively understand and put oneself in the position of another without necessarily being affected by their emotions. Emotional empathy is the ability to feel the emotions of another person, and in a sense mirror them. This is distinct from emotional contagion where one is swept up in the emotions of a mob or another person.
The reason why I draw this distinction is that in my conceptualization of Red Pill Theory and Game, cognitive empathy plays a very central role, in that you have to be able to understand the woman you are interacting with in order to run solid game. Part of the reason why scripted game became so popular, was that it was a crutch for men with poorly developed theory of mind, they didn’t have to understand why a woman reacted like she did, they simply knew what to look for and what puzzle piece to put into place to influence it.
I normally do not make it a habit to address various Twitter and other forum beef in long-form essays, for the most part I attempt to keep the blog separate from other forums, except for sharing content. However, I find that there are a few complaints and a bit of criticism that is often launched on other forums that I feel should be dealt with on here.
Now, before I go into that, if you are a Gendernomics or Gendernomics: Building Value owner, I welcome all feedback on the books and my twitter DMs are open, specifically as customers, I want to hear and appreciate your feedback. Continue reading
One of the phrases I’ve coined in my time back in this space was “A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, but for a man to take the red pill requires a kick in the balls” , I’m sure a lot of people just assumed this was a funny turn-of-phrase to highlight how difficult it is to get a man to take the red pill, however the serious meaning behind it, is that The Red Pill has a very narrow market appeal. Game, Pick-up material, work-out advice, style advice, grooming advice, hell even a cooking show for men has a huge broad market appeal. After all, what guy doesn’t want to look good, feel good, get laid and eat well?
However, the “Red Pill lens” is a very hard sell for one simple reason, it requires accepting some very harsh truths about men, about women, about intersexual dynamics and about the world at large. In many cases, it requires you to accept that you’ve put years, maybe even decades of effort and resources into investments that never had any value. The right mindset to be willing, and even grateful for the opportunity requires a man who has been pushed to a limit where he is feeling so much pain, frustration and anguish that he is willing to try literally anything to improve. Continue reading
In the last couple of weeks, I’ve received a couple of really interesting reader questions that I think have some synergy. One gentleman spoke of how he as a red pill men can find other red pill men to hang out with, because he finds it very tiring to only hang out with “blue pillers” and secondly, he would like to have a group of men who can support each other on the journey.
The second gentleman asked me a fairly straight forward question of how I manage to both work in corporate and be red pilled. The implicit idea being that as a red pill man you have to employ law 38
“Law 38: Think as you like, but behave like others” Robert Greene
The reason why I view these questions as having much synergy, in that they are both reflective of the same desire, in the case of the former question, being able to be surrounded by men who share your perspective, have similar goal and act as a tribe, in other words; being included. In the case of the latter, the balance between being your authentic self, while you are surrounded by people who do not share your perspective, and would be likely to exclude you, if you reveal your authentic self.
Inclusion vs. Exclusion, feeling united by a common bond and shared goals vs. feeling alone and frightened in the crowd. Continue reading