Some of the most annoying questions I get are “How do I get a girl” and “How do I get that specific girl” the reason for why I hate both questions lie on the same continuum, the first one is not specific enough, is the latter is far too specific.
The reason I dislike the first one is that I could flippantly answer “$100 bucks and an online escort site“, and the reason I dislike the latter is that it views Game and The Red Pill as a Gamespot Strategy Guide for 100 completion with all achievements for the “Chicks” game. What they both have in common is a lack of understanding of what game and the red pill is, however, this is a trait that they share with many other men, women and children. This idea that the Red Pill is a book of rules with a process model that if you follow it to the T you can get any girl.
I’m sorry to tell you that the Red Pill and Game will never be a 100% guarantee to get any girl you want, or any girl at all. If you implement it correctly, make it a part of your life and do the work, it will help you get more girls, but not all girls.
The same mindset lies behind “If you were only alpha enough” or “If your frame was strong enough” or “I bang nothing but 9s and 10s and lay more pipe across North America than North American Oil & Gas Pipelines Inc.” LARPing is not that hard to spot.
Now, I started this essay with this little rant, because I want to cover an important topic today, namely tailoring. Before we get to that point of the essay, I want to define how I conceptualize the red pill and game.
Conceptualizations of The Red Pill
The Red Pill is a theory of intersexual dynamics founded in evolutionary psychology and evolutionary biology and game is the practical application of that in the mating market.
I think this distinction is important for the reason that there are a lot of things that are viewed as intimately linked with the Red Pill and Game (to a lesser extent) that are not a part of the theory or the practical framework we call game. Weight lifting, weight loss, gaining muscle, dialing in your diet, self-improvement, financial advice, and a host of other things are very linked to The Red Pill and Game, but are not part of it. I view many of these as being “pre-game“. They are things you do to get your value in order so that game can work as a value multiplier.
Quite frankly, I would be somewhat inclined to argue that my own little niche of “Gendernomics” is not entirely part of the Red Pill theory either, in so far in that it largely consists of the analysis of the sexual market place and sexual market dynamics market dynamics, in the same manner that a financial analyst would analyze the oil & gas market without necessarily being part of it. However, I also recognize that Gendernomics, The Red Pill and Game are complimentary fields, the same can be said for self-improvement.
Red Pill theory will tell you “Why” the sexual market place market works the way it does, Gendernomics will tell you “What” the market does and will do, Game will give you the “How” so you can take advantage of it towards you own end. Finally, self-improvement will help you position yourself to take advantage of it. These are all important parts of the total picture, knowing what the market is doing and how you can take advantage of it are perhaps the most important pieces, but I find that knowing the “Why” helps men move from scripted, predictable routines to more natural game. Despite the old claims that “You just need game man“, that’s not really true, you do need something real as a foundation.
Knowing that the reason why that fantastic opener worked was not because of what you said, but what was conveyed by the way you said it, helps men devise tactics and strategies for themselves. and to tailor it to their personality, presentation, preferences and perspective.
The reason I find this to be a set of important distinctions is that Self-improvement is all pre-game. You can be the most red pilled man on Earth, have studied every piece of game material in existence, understand Gendernomics better than I do, but without having built yourself into a reasonably valuable man you will see little if any success. Each component is important in order to guard from a given level of risk, and enable a certain level of leverage.
In my view, the complete set of things, Red Pill Theory, Self-improvement, Game, Gendernomics, and so on all form a large framework. The idea behind a framework is that you have a way of approaching things based on prior learning. You have the red pill theory, you have game, you have self-improvement, and together these tells you the truth, and how to leverage that for maximum returns while minimizing risk. This is how The Red Pill and Game are supposed to work.
The old school game community was pretty simple, devise a piece of material or theory, go out, field test it, write a field-report, get other men to test it, then based on the feedback it is either adopted or discarded. Over time, this created a large knowledge base of things that men have tried, swapped notes on, and collectively created. We got night game, day game, online game, text game, tinder game, scripted game, natural game, asshole game, jerk game, and a bunch of others.
These are all subsets of the same thing, and are built on Red Pill theory, they are tailored applications of the Red Pill Theoretical framework.
The Concept of Tailoring
The idea of tailoring is that you adapt a framework to your particular situation. A typical case would be running a business project according to PMBOK, if you are running a $100m project with 100 people, and 30 stakeholders, you will require more of the framework than running a 10k project with 2 people involved. Running the $100m project with a minimal toolkit leads to a lack of control over TCQ, running the 10k project with the full framework means you spend more resources on managing than producing.
Day game for instance, was born from Night Game and is the theoretical framework tailored for a specific context and environment. This is why I really like Roosh V’s “Day Bang” because he actually compares and contrasts the major differences throughout the book. My favorite being the analogy of girls in the club being like dogs and girls out in the day-game wilds being like cats. This helps men see how Day game and Night game are similar, yet different applications.
Another example would be the London Daygame model, which in my view is one of the best daygame models there are, however there may be situations where you do not need to work through the whole process model. this is what tailoring is about. Taking a solid framework and adapting it to fit your context and personality. I’d personally argue (as a non-expert in the London Day Game Model) that a central element isn’t to follow the model slavishly, but rather realizing where you are in the process and knowing what to do at that stage of the process. Then you can tailor and leverage that framework to get the best returns in the most efficient manner.
I’ll share my own tailoring paradigm. I hate crowded bars and clubs, they get too loud, too sweaty and too stupid for my tastes. In addition some of my strongest game-related abilities are conversations, story-telling, teasing and humor, none of which are very useful in a place where the music is loud and the pace hectic. I much prefer a 45 minute coffee or drink date in a quiet venue with comfortable seating, where I can leverage my strengths. I still need some degree on night game in that I need to be able to bounce a girl to a second venue, create hook points, escalate and take her home. However I avoid my weak points related to hanging out in night clubs by picking venues that play to my strengths.
You take what works for you, and build on that.
Summary and Conclusions
It’s very easy to get caught up in someone else’s tailored framework. The best example is the peacocking era back in the Mystery days. Guys in tophats, platform boots, rings on every finger and black nail-polish. We identify someone who appears successful, adopt and implement their framework and never realize that tailoring is an option.
In the 15 or so years that I’ve been in this space, much of the time has been less enjoyable because I was tailoring my life to game, rather than game to my life. I’ve kicked my ass in the gym to put on mass, avoided drinks, sweets, and foods I enjoy to drop body fat, had a 700+ day streak in myfitnesspal. Spent a lot of time in clubs I did not enjoy and god knows I’ve ground out approaches day in and day out.
The fact is, for many of us this journey starts as a way to improve an area of our life, then it transcends into obsession.
“Be attractive” turns into “Fitness model physique“, Chiseled jawline, perfect hair, the right eye color.
“Don’t be unattractive” morphs into “Be attractive to everyone”
“Handle your money” turns into “Be a millionaire”
“Get laid” becomes “Only bang 10s”
In the end, you give yourself such a workload that you don’t have time for girls, plus the constant focus to be perfect makes the process non-enjoyable. The worst part of it, is that in your pursuit of becoming Chad, incarnate you lose the strengths that give you a competitive advantage. Basically, you focus on turning all your weaknesses, real or perceived into strengths, but in that process you also end up sanding off your real strengths.
This is the same mistake the modern educational system is making. If you’ve got a lot of natural affinity, talent and interest for STEM, so you’re getting top grades in all the STEM classes, then your teacher tells you that you need to take that English grade to a top grade, rather than getting even better with STEM.