The Male Epiphany Phase

One of my blessings, or curses depending on perspective is that I’m pretty good with recognizing patterns. This is one of the reasons why I get so much enjoyment out of watching the change that takes place in a woman’s social media profile from the age of 20 up until she turns 35. While this pattern was fairly obvious even before social media, never before have we been able to watch the sexual market graph develop on a daily basis, complete with illustrations. I find it very interesting how a woman’s social media profile up until about 28 is largely composed of drinking, travel, parties and thirstbait, then suddenly one day it starts with a meme about where all the good men are. Slowly over the next few years, body shots are replaced with glasses of red wine and 3 course meals, the cleavage becomes church appropriate, cats start to frequent more often, and the travel pictures are replaced with “professional” photos. This is hardly a surprise to red pill men as the transition between the party years and the wall has been documented quite well especially on The Rational Male in the by now infamous “SMV Graph”, however for the Beta in Waiting it’s his ship finally coming in.

The reason it’s called the epiphany phase, is because this is the time in a woman’s life when she realizes that her sexual market value is not on an eternal growth path into the high heavens, but instead has been in steady decline for a few years, perhaps even 5 or 6 years. She suddenly comes to the jarring realization that she is struggling to compete with “younger, hotter, tighter”, and the men she could have easily had only a few years ago are not showing the same level of interest. Thus, she changes her market strategy to appeal to “The Good Men“, those men of whom she said “You will make a great husband”, “Why are you single” and “You are such a great friend“. Those men, who while she was busy doing body shots, partying and enjoying her sexual self-discovery, got a degree, a professional job and built a capacity to provide. This is how the transition starts.

Her desire for men who are exiting, confident, aloof, impulsive, aggressive, dominant, direct and disagreeable, remain her preference for short trysts however for the first time in her life the men who are stable, relaxed, a bit more neurotic, attentive, predictable, laid back, cooperative, indirect and agreeable become visible to her. Men who can provide for her long term well-being through stable incomes, personalities and preferences.  Those men, whom to her younger self would have scarcely made a blip on her radar suddenly send up warning lights and sirens, she finds herself drawn to them.

We call this “The Epiphany Phase” in women ,and while I largely reject the idea that “For every female inter/intrasexual dynamic there has to be a male direct equivalent“, I notice a similar pattern in many men, perhaps even one that is exacerbated in red pill men and pick-up artists, where by the time they hit their 30s and 40s, they develop a disdain for their previous lifestyle, often adopt religion and seek to transition from playboy to patriarch. They become disillusioned by what they regard as a vapid, hedonistic, self-gratifying lifestyle and start to seek something more. Funnily enough this seems to lead to them, growing huge-ass beards, developing a fascination with metaphysics, spirituality and using the word “virtue” a lot. This is often followed by the idealization of bygone ages, of when men were men, women were women and children were seen not heard.

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Red Pill Logic: Anger

So, lets talk about anger, it’s a human emotion, exists in varying degrees from simple annoyance to all-out wrath, it leads to both psychological and physiological changes, can control you or drive you forward. A common accusation levied at the red pill is that it makes men angry, it makes men angry at women, something which struck me as strange for the longest time. How can seeing reality for the first time, lead a man to become angry? This anger stage is perhaps natural as the red pill does have the effect of demonstrating to us that we have been fooled for years, even decades of our lives. It’s the equivalent of being sold that working a dead-end 9 – 5 job will lead to you becoming a multi-millionaire only to find out as you are about to retire that it was all a lie.

This forces you to accept that you have invested resources and time for many years of your life in a flawed methodology, and accepting that you were fooled can be a difficult thing. In order to move beyond anger one must accept that those decisions were taken with the best information you had available at the time and that the results thereof are not indicative of a personal failure on your part but on bad information.

In an earlier essay I wrote:

The second stage of being exposed to red pill philosophy is frequently anger. Some manifest anger at womanhood in general for the duplicitous sexual strategy of “Alpha Fucks/Beta Bucks”, others at fathers for not “raising them right”, or the world for not informing them.  When a man is presented with evidence that most of the resources he spent towards getting laid, and much of the associated frustration when she just wanted to be friends after 11 dates with no sex, are easily explained. He triggered her provider instinct and thus she put off sex while deciding if she was ready to settle down. Anger is a natural reaction, both at himself, at women and at the society that told him that he was doing the right thing for his goal, but that misled him.

It was a case of the principal and the agent, where he was raised not to be someone’s one night stand, but the man his mother wanted his father to be. His social programming has been one that sets him up to realize the worst possible deal for himself, but the best one possible for the woman and the social group. In this manner, he may find himself experiencing feelings of being deceived, not only by the society without a face, but also by those in which he has the most trust.

Perhaps the most sinister is the realization that much like the unknowing population of the Matrix, that were slowly being drained of bio-energy to power other creatures, the man within the blue pill framework is slowly being drained of his energy to enable and power the society to which he belongs.

In short, the man feels duped because he constructed his imaginary system of how the world works based on, in the best case scenario flawed information and in the worst case scenario, deliberately misleading information. He spent a life as a good boy, believing in that if he became the avatar of those qualities that society venerates on the surface, he would be rewarded for his efforts. Continue reading

Of Syllogisms and Suppositions

Back when I got my first corporate job I was very much an idealist when it came to the corporate environment. I had faith in that if I simply worked hard, did a solid job and demonstrated my value to the company I worked for back then, I would have a great career ahead of me. A couple of years of not taking vacations, putting in 80 hours a week every week, answering calls and emails around the clock later, I was still in the exact same position that I was in when I started. I’d gotten a few pay raises but that was about it. As I spent my birthday reflecting on that year’s accounts, I started thinking of expectancy and equity theory. The basics of these two theories is that people form cause and effect chains, “if I do X, then Y” (expectancy) and they expect people to maintain equitable relationships, meaning “if I produce value above my current salary to the company, the company will reward me for it“, however this can often not be the case, because there is no clear cause-effect chain between doing a great job and climbing the corporate ladder.

In my case, I expected the company to recognize my efforts and reward me with what I desired. This is not much different from how many men will be perfect husbands on paper, they provide, they are great fathers, treat their wife as the center of their world, they contribute to the community and if asked nobody would have a problem saying “Oh, he’s a great guy”. They expect that if they do all the things right, for instance they fill their wife’s 487 bullet-point list, they are great dads, they communicate, they do chores and so on, their wife will return the equity to them in the form of sex and devotion, yet many of them find themselves in dead bedrooms or getting zeroed out.

It’s no different from how many Good Boys will work hard their entire lives, sacrifice their teens and twenties to become great husbands to a woman who has partied her way through life. Then they expect this woman to recognize their efforts and reward them with what they desire. It’s a covert contract on a grand scale.

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The Engineer’s Dilemma

I spent most of this week writing on what I figured would be this week’s essay, then late last night I thought of this topic. I read and consume a bit of red pill content, because I find it interesting, I like supporting the other content creators in the sphere, I learn from it and like this week I got a bit of inspiration. I consumed 2 major pieces of content this week, I watched Rich Cooper’s speech at last years 21 Convention and I read Alan Roger Currie’s book “Mode One“. I just got to know Rich when we started doing The Red Man Group, and I was not very familiar with Alan, except for a Podcast he did with Donovan [3]  a while back, but I’m glad I took the time to consume their content this week.

Both men have a similar over-arching theme to these pieces of work that is very familiar to me from my work with start-ups. In my experience, entrepreneurs often come in two types, there is the salesman and the engineer. Both groups can make very successful companies, however the problems they face are often quite different. The salesman comes up with an idea for a business and as he prefers doing sales, that’s where he begins. Over a fairly short period of time he may amass a lot of orders, sign quite a few contracts, then when it becomes time to deliver the product he has no idea what to do next. The help that the salesman often needed was structuring up his value chain, handling the administrative work, product development, logistics, production and other parts of the day to day operations.

The engineer type on the other hand comes up with an idea for a product, and he immediately starts work on making a prototype. He often spends a ton of time working out every kink in the product, setting up production, figuring out how to handle his value chain and his logistics. However, he would end up very far into the hole because he never really got around to thinking about who his market is, how to bring the product to market or how to get sales. Continue reading

Of Risks and Recommendations

One of the first essays I ever wrote on the sexual market place was concerning risk management. I elected to write that early on because there are many pitfalls a man can find himself in when he’s just getting started. Despite what one would expect, the probability of a high visibility, successful cad finding himself the victim of a BPD girl, an ooops pregnancy or getting oneitis is fairly low, while the odds of a recently recovered blue pill man doing so are much higher. This is very similar to how a person who has been rich for a long time, perhaps all their life is used to gold diggers, scammers and charlatans trying to get money out of them, and in most cases their family will have trained them to see through such scams. The person who just won the lottery does not have this training, and thus becomes an easy victim.

The man who is still in blue pill recovery can be a very easy victim for a woman with questionable intent, which usually means that she is in her epiphany phase or even post-wall and is on the prowl for Beta Bucks to lock down. A man who has started to slowly improve through the red pill, will find himself facing down many types of risk, but the greatest one in my estimation is that presented by oneitis. Many men come to game and the red pill looking for a cheat-code to “get her back” or “just get that one girl“, and if or when they accomplish this goal they promptly stop being the man who got her and go back to being the man who could have never gotten her. I’ll be frank and say that this is the male version of a woman who loses 100 lbs, gets plastic surgery, locks down a husband and then proceeds to put on all the weight again.

In this sense, a lot of men see the red pill and game as a diet, it is something that they are on temporarily to accomplish an objective and once they reach this goal they go back to their old lifestyle. The problem with this is that “old you’s” life is the sum of “old you’s” habits, “new you’s” life is the sum of “new you’s” habits. You cannot have “new you’s” life with “old you’s” habits, it just doesn’t work that way. This is perhaps the biggest risk men face in the sexual market place, that of their own comfort and complacency. The fact of the matter is that being a high value man is like being the top guy in any field, if you screw up or get lazy there are thousands of men with a hunger burning them alive ready to take your spot.

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Of Apex and Alphas

We did a Red Man Group podcast on “Looks, Money, Game” a few weeks back, it was an interesting podcast to do, given that there wasn’t a real consensus on the panel about which one is the most important, but everyone agrees with the fact that ideally you want at least two of them. The idea for this essay came to me when I was preparing for the podcast by having an internal debate with myself about factors that influence performance in the sexual market place. My internal chain of reasoning was along the lines of various trade-offs we are willing to make when shopping for a sexual partner. My preferences for a woman’s looks are largely centered on breasts, butt, hair and face, but I was asking myself how these four factors interact. In an ideal world, I would prefer a woman with bigger breasts, a bubble butt, long red hair (in a particular shade), and an innocent looking yet pretty face. I also tend to prefer either green or blue eyes, over other colors.

So, in my head I constructed somewhat of a March Madness bracket for these various characteristics and had them play against each other, mostly out of curiosity. This lead me to figure out which characteristics are soft-preferences, which are hard preferences and which are somewhere in the middle. As I worked myself through this, I found myself thinking about preferences, choice and options because these are closely linked. This lead down a rabbit hole of considerations on sexual market pricing, preferences and trades, that then lead down a fairly long string of thinking on building the optimal sexual market performer. While doing this, I ran across the Apex Fallacy and the nadir fallacy.

An apex fallacy is a conditional fallacy which happens when one evaluates how good a group is doing by the highest performing members. The converse fallacy is called the nadir fallacy, which is when one evaluates a group based on the worst members. I’m going to be using these with a slightly different definition in this essay, where the definition will be “when one evaluates how good one is doing based on how good other members of multiple groups are doing.”

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Of Metaphysics and Morals

Philosophy has 5 classical branches, logic, epistemology, aesthetics, ethics and metaphysics, ranked in order of empirical foundation. Logic is the study of reasoning, often divided in deductive reasoning and inductive reasoning. The former is drawing general conclusions from specific examples, the latter is drawing logical conclusions from definitions and axioms. Epistemology is concerned with the nature and limitations of knowledge, and deals with four points, what is knowledge, how is knowledge acquired, what do people know, and how do we know what we know. Aesthetics is the branch of philosophy concerned with the nature of beauty and ugliness, and is sometimes referred to as the study of sentiment and taste.

Ethics is also known as moral philosophy, it’s the branch of philosophy concerned with good and bad, right and wrong, justice, virtue and all related concepts. Metaphysics is the branch of philosophy concerned with the nature of existence, and seeks to explain the fundamental nature of being and the world. Traditionally, metaphysics is divided into two branches, cosmology and ontology. The former seeks to understand the origin, evolution, structure and ultimate fate of the universe at large and the natural laws that govern it. These days this branch of philosophy is soundly placed within the STEM field. The latter, ontology deals with questions concerning which entities exist or can be said to exist, how such entitled can be grouped, organized in hierarchies, this has also been placed distinctly within the realm of science and is now empirical. After the schism that created the gap between “philosophy” and “natural philosophy (later science), metaphysics is largely concerned with the philosophical inquiry of a non-empirical character into the nature of existence.

Some people are also inclined to include political philosophy into the classical branches, this is a branch concerned with the study of concepts such as liberty, justice, property rights, law and the enforcement of a legal code by authorities, what they are, if they are needed, and many such questions. The major focus of this essay is not concerned with political philosophy, thought it is tangentially relevant to the topic, the major focus of this essay will be on logic, epistemology, ethics and the present definition of metaphysics.

The early days of the Red Pill was known as “The Seduction Community” and was concerned with investigating how men could become more successful at sexual relationships with women. For this purpose, the early pick-up artists would study men who were naturally good at getting laid, formulate theories for what these men did, test those theories through field-experiments and report the results back in field-reports in various online communities, so that other men could test if it also worked for them. The development of this body of knowledge is not much different from the development of bodybuilding or strength training where the practitioners have often been well ahead of the scientific community with their prescriptions. This became known as “bro-science” which was a derogatory term for knowledge a person obtained through practice, that would vary in its efficacy, mostly due to a lack of ability to control for important variables such as nutrition and drug use, but also due to sample problems such as using small samples (n=1) or selections of extreme outliers.

From day one the most important factor in game and red pill theory is the structure of “What do we observe”, “Why does it work” and “How can this be practically applied”. The explanation and theory only serves a purpose in how it influences practice. “Cocky & Funny”, “DHV”, “Negs” and “False disqualifiers” are all under the umbrella of “Amused Mastery”, when practitioners identified the former, deductive reasoning allowed Rollo to go from specific behavioral examples to a general conclusion and thus theory [1].

There has been a push recently to include metaphysics (by definition 3) and ethics in red pill theory as of late, and I’ve written a bit here to illustrate on why I think that this is a questionable idea.

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