The Red Pill and Defense Mechanisms

defenseWhen I was writing the recent article about the lamentations of “Fun Single girl, one of the things that struck me was how many of her complaints, men being raised poorly, men not embodying the narrative of what a man should be and men not knowing what they want, so accurately appear to capture the negative phenomena. Some of the more frequent complaints I see in the manosphere both in articles and comment sections is that women are no longer raised to be feminine, to embody the image of what a female is and that women do not know what they want. This made me think of the mechanism of psychological projection, wherein a human being defends themselves against unconscious impulses or qualities by denying their existence in themselves and attributing them to others. Perhaps the woman in lamentations is in fact attributing the truth about herself to the men she desires but fails to capture in her net.

This lead to thinking about the psychological defense mechanisms that Sigmund Freud identified, and that Anna Freud defined in “The Ego and the Mechanisms of Defense“. These are not merely unconscious protective measures to stop you from connecting with your instincts, but also serve to protect you from the consequences of confronting your flaws and weaknesses. Thus, by identifying when defense mechanisms appear in your psyche, you can better connect with your instincts, confront your flaws, and eradicate your weaknesses. There is quite an arsenal of different defense mechanisms, but for the purpose of brevity, I’ll cover the nine most common ones. Continue reading

The Sexual Market Skinner-Box

skinner-boxBurrhus Frederic Skinner is perhaps one of the most influential psychologists of the last 100 years, despite being relatively unknown to the mainstream and I touched on his work in Methods of Female Madness. Unlike Freud who got much attention for his focus on neurosis, sex and in many ways laid the groundwork for psychoanalysis, Skinner’s work in behaviorism flew somewhat under the radar among the general public. The major contribution Skinner made is in hte field of Operant Conditioning, based in his belief that free will is an illusion and human action is dependent on the consequences of previous actions. Thus, it follows along the same line as Scott Adams’ concept of humans as “moist robots“.

Skinner broke down behaviors in two categories, respondent and operant. Where respondent behavior are elicited by stimuli and can be modified by the use of Pavlovian conditioning, where neutral stimulus is paired with eliciting stimulus. Operant behaviors are not initially induced by any stimulus, and are strengthened by instrumental conditioning. Meaning that they are strengthened or weakened by the response to the behavior. Continue reading

The 5 Stages of Red Pill

stages-of-grief-300x282The reaction to red pill philosophy depends very much on both the sender and the receiver of communication. Some men take to the Red pill philosophy as helping them finally make sense of their troubles, and gives them a framework for fixing the problems they are experiencing. Others reject the philosophy wholesale and writes it off as misogyny, or fables. Some seek to adopt some principles, but reject others, collectively this group is referred to as “Purple Pill“.

Many times the reaction to the philosophy is strongly correlated with the situation then man is in when first presented with the body of knowledge that collectively makes up the theoretical framework of the red pill.  In many cases a spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, in the case of the red pill a solid kick to some of the more sensitive parts of a male tends to be the required catalyst. This is no different than when rejecting any long-held beliefs that shape our world-view.

I’m reminded of a flight I was on some years ago, where I found myself sitting next to an older gentleman on the way home from a golf trip. As often happens, we ended up in a discussion of our educational pursuits. He had studied philosophy at a higher level, and I asked why considering he had spent most of his life until retirement in the business-world. His answer was that philosophy is the foundation of everything, it encompasses all perspectives you hold. Thus, changing your core philosophy is akin to changing your core programming. Once you change a foundation belief, all your other beliefs must be examined.

Most of us are raised within the blue pill sphere of influence, our mothers raise us to be good husbands, which is a synonym for female enablers. We are raised on “happily ever after” from the first fairy-tale we heard before bedtime, to the one we watched on Netflix yesterday. The blue pill fantasy is an intoxicating one, for every man there is a woman who is his perfect mate, and she will find him. This woman will ensure that his life is according to what he has been told is the greatest experience a man can have in this world, a loving, doting wife and children. He will never want for sex again, as his perfect mate will fulfill his fantasies, and he will fulfill hers.

The five stages of grief in many ways represent the journey that most men must travel before finally accepting the philosophy and being willing to make the substantial investment required to re-align their life with their desires. One has to put one’s old beliefs in a casket, and move on towards a new philosophy of life. Continue reading

Women and Borderline Personality Disorder

marilynBorderline personality disorder is somewhat unfamiliar to most outside of the manosphere, as men who have been in relationships with borderlines often arrive on one manosphere blog or another attempting to pick up the pieces of themselves from such a relationship. By some viewed as the female variant of psychopathy [1] and by some as a far cry from the cold, unflinching psychopath, considering their often highly emotional and erratic nature. Borderline personality disorder is characterized by various behaviors related to emotional regulation or lack thereof, most aptly captured in the book title “I hate you, don’t leave me(link at the end of the essay).

It has received much less focus than the two other mainstream disorders within the cluster B spectrum of the DSM-5, narcissistic- and antisocial personality disorder [4], one must wonder if this is because that unlike other two, it is a disorder that affects mostly women. The name comes from the observation that a person with this disorder exists on the borderline between sanity and insanity. Prone to imaginative interpretations of events, magical thinking, perceiving slights where none exist, and intense reactions it is an understandable observation. Coupled with highly emotional outbursts, and a tendency towards gas lighting and manipulation, this creates a picture of a person with very little tangible connection to reality. Perhaps the reason why this is often referred to as female psychopathy is that it appears to 3:1 female to male when it comes to being diagnosed. While people with borderline personality disorder only make up about 1.6% of the population, this means that in the U.S alone there are over 4 million people with BPD, out of which 3 million are women. Continue reading