In writing this series that I have been working on dealing with inner game, beliefs and psychological structures, I’ve had to revisit both new and old events and experiences in my life. A few weeks back, some events took place that for some reason broke through my layers of detached cynical stoicism, and bothered me to the core. A characteristic of my personality is that I can rarely let something go without figuring it out, and my reaction to the events was no exception.
As I outlined in internal messages, it’s important to identify the core premises of your internal software, in order to rewrite those parts of the program that keep you from achieving the goals you desire. One I experienced for a long time was a tendency to self-sabotage and neglect key areas of life, because of an old internal message, one that stated “The only thing that matters is being a good worker at your job“, thus if this was the only thing worth excelling at, why bother trying to excel or even handle other areas of life?
While digging through the old discarded thoughts, patterns and principles, I came upon the one that broke the cynical barrier, namely the concept called “karma”. I used to find the concept of Karma to be a very attractive one, namely that the Universe will conspire to ensure that those who are virtuous, just and display the merits will be rewarded, while those who are the opposite inevitably will be punished. Even though I had long ago accepted that the Universe is at best uncaring, I still had a tendency to act from a place of what I perceived as virtue.
Such behavior on my part was a manifestation of habit, rather than one of conscious action, I didn’t elect to offer assistance so much as I did so because I had been brought up and encouraged behave in this manner my whole life. The idea I suppose being the “Golden Rule”, and doing unto others as you would want them to do onto you. However, I realized that this usually creates a negative balance in the same manner that communism does, in that some frequently need help but are rarely able to offer it, where others are frequently able to offer it, but rarely need it.
Such behavior is thus, both idealistic and naive, and cognitively I believe that this is the principle that serves as the basis for all blue pill thought. One can be blue pill without without many of the symptoms, but the ultimate cause of the disorder is a belief in the just nature of the Universe. The core idea behind the blue pill is that virtue is rewarded, yet no one can quantify the reward. Continue reading